


there's more to the picture that meets the eye (rock and roll can never die)

by bloodredcherries



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2019-11-15 12:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 22,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18073598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodredcherries/pseuds/bloodredcherries
Summary: Falice one-shots that don't fall under one particular theme.





	1. piggybank

**Author's Note:**

> I do take requests either on here or on tumblr (deargrilledcheesusyouredelicious)

Alice reminded herself that she was doing this for Jellybean, even though it went against her entire core to go into FP’s ex-wife’s house and risk the potential for awkward small talk (Alice had never liked Gladys, even when she had been an older member of the Serpents, while she was in as a teen, and her opinion of her had not risen over the years. Still, it had been important for FP that she be allowed to have some visitation with the children, as long as it wasn’t overnight, and as long as she remained sober. What was important to FP was important to Alice. 

 

Normally, however, she was content to let FP handle the nitty gritty details about Jughead and Jellybean’s visitation with their mother, whilst she dealt with the wonder that was Hal, who wasn’t quite as irritating once they were not married any longer. That day, however, was different. Alice had made the mistake of agreeing to something that Jellybean had asked her to do while she was still half asleep, and had discovered that  _ what _ she had agreed to do was accompany her, Jughead, and their father to Gladys’s apartment over in Greendale. She had been tempted to beg out of it, but she wasn’t capable of saying no to the little girl once she stared at her with her big, brown eyes that looked so much like her father’s. 

 

“Will you sit in the back with me?” Jellybean asked, as she buckled her into her carseat, one of her Barbie dolls clutched in her hands. “Please, Mama Allie?”

 

“You don’t want to sit with your brother?” 

 

Jellybean shook her head, her pigtails bouncing as she did. “I wanna make little critter do his trick again.”

 

“Ah, you think you’re getting a brother?” Alice and FP weren’t sure what they were expecting, but the baby had begun kicking in earnest over the course of the week, and Jellybelly had been delighted to feel it. “Well, I’ll sit with you,” she agreed. “No promises on whether little critter will do tricks. Right now I think he’s sleeping.” 

 

“Sit between me and Juggie,” she insisted. “Daddy knows where he’s going. He won’t get lost.” 

 

“Why do you want me to come with you, again?” It was immature to admit, but Alice really did not want to go with her husband and children to see Gladys. “I know you told me, but--”

 

“I gots an oinker!” Jellybean informed her, a wide grin on her face. “Mommy got it for me, and she gots one for Juggie, too. She says we gotta feed them so they can get big an’ fat.” 

 

“Your mother bought you and Jughead pigs?” Alice demanded, her eyes wide with horror. She had known Gladys was irresponsible, but this behavior took the cake. Buying her children that she got to see for four hours a week (if she even took that) farm animals? While she lived in an apartment? That was beyond the pale. “I mean...of course I want to see the oinker, Jellybelly,” she insisted, as she plastered on a smile. The little girl smiled back. Being a child, of course, it made sense that Jellybean thought that a pet pig was a grand event. She supposed that she should be grateful that Jellybean had even had the presence of mind to tell her. “Thank you for inviting me.” 

 

Jellybean often tried to invite Alice to join them at Gladys’s, and Alice found herself wishing she hadn’t continually come up with excuse after excuse. Perhaps then she could have spared herself (and others) the woman getting it in her head that a pig was an appropriate pet. 

 

“Babe, what are you doing in back there?” FP questioned. “You don’t want to sit up front with me?”

 

Alice preferred to sit up front with FP, but she had promised Jellybean, and she was entirely too pregnant to move. “Jellybelly asked me to,” she said. “Didn’t you, darling?” 

 

The toddler nodded, and FP smiled at them in the rearview mirror, causing Alice to gamely smile back, as she tried to push the thoughts of the pig -- the goddamned pig -- out of her mind. 

 

“I’m just glad that two of my girls are getting along so well,” he said. “You excited, Jellybelly?”

 

“You and Mama Allie get to see my oinker!” Jellybean gushed. “Super excited!”

 

FP and Alice exchanged a horrified glance.

  
  


***

  
  


“Do you actually think that she bought the kids pigs?” Alice hissed in his ear, as she waited with him a respectful distance from Jughead and Jellybean, who were waiting patiently for Gladys to open the door. “This is absolutely ludicrous, FP, I swear to you, if she did--”

 

The door had swung open, revealing Gladys to the four of them, and she forced herself to shut up and plaster a smile on her face, mainly for the sake of Jellybean, who seemed oblivious to adult cues and thought it would be the best thing ever if everyone’s parents were BFFs. Jughead, on the other hand, seemed to know better. He was older, of course, that made sense. 

 

“Hi kids,” Gladys said. “I didn’t know you were bringing Alice. Couldn’t you have left her at the nightmare on Elm Street? It’s just four hours, FP.”

 

Alice stiffened. “I’m--”

 

“I  _ wanted _ Mama Allie to come,” Jellybean insisted, her eyes filling with tears. “Don’t be mean to her.” 

 

“It’s okay,” Alice told her. “It’s fine, Jellybean. Don’t be upset.”

 

“I wanna show you my oinker,” she snuffled, and she tugged at Alice’s hand. “I didn’t mean to be bad.”

 

“You’re not bad, Jellybean,” she whispered. “You can show me your oinker, I still want to see it.” 

 

“Mommy thinks I am, though.” 

 

“I don’t think  _ you’re _ bad, Jellybean, it’s your  _ stepmother _ I have a problem with.” 

 

“Why don’t you take Mama Allie inside, and you and your brother can show her whatever it is you want to show her, okay, Jellybelly? Daddy and Mommy need to have a little talk, out here.” 

 

“She won’t want to now.” 

 

“That’s not true,” Alice insisted. Well, it was accurate, but Jellybean didn’t need to know that. “I want to see the oinker.” 

 

“You do?” 

 

“Yes, sweetheart, of course I do,” she soothed. “I think, if you’re patient, little critter will wake up for you.” 

 

Jellybean’s eyes lit up at the prospect of getting to feel her little brother or sister, and Alice let her tug her into the apartment. The smell of stale cigarette smoke hit her immediately, and she felt vaguely ill, but a lack of desire to bring the kids back to their arguing parents made her push her feelings aside. 

 

“I don’t care  _ what _ you think about Alice, she’s  _ my wife _ and we’re raising those kids, like  _ you _ asked us to, because drinking and snorting  _ coke _ is more important than being their mother,” she heard him say, and she turned up the television that was on in the apartment, determined to make the kids’ visit as normal as possible. 

 

“I get the oinker for you,” Jellybean informed her. “You wait here with Juggie.”   
  


“You don’t need help, Jelly?”   
  


She shook her head. “Daddy says you have to rest.” 

 

This was true, but Alice felt FP would be lenient on his rule when it came to Jellybean not lifting a pig on her own. There was no detering the younger girl, however, and Alice let her press a loud kiss to her belly (along with a loudly whispered declaration of love), and she watched her skip into the other room. 

 

“I’m sorry that I ruined your day with Gladys,” she told Jughead. 

 

“Don’t be. I only go so she won’t refuse to see Jellybean.” 

 

“Mama, come see my oinker!” Jellybean squealed, and Alice peered over at her direction, and breathed in a sigh of relief when she identified said oinker as a piggy bank, and not one of the porcine, hog, variety. “It’s gots a princess tutu, and a unicorn hat.” 

 

“Well, isn’t that sweet?” 

 

Jellybean nodded. “I wanted you to see it.” 

 

“I know, darling,” she said. “Thank you for showing me.” 

 

It was clear that the bank was important to Jellybean, and Jellybean was important to Alice. She loved both of FP’s children like they were her own, and she was glad that they loved her back. 

 

“How’s little critter?” Jellybean asked, her tone curious. “Does he want to play?”

 

“I think so,” she told her. “Give me your hand.” 

 

“Juggie too,” she insisted.

 

“Of course, your brother is more than welcome to feel,” she said. “Come here, Jughead, give me your hand.” 


	2. bitter

“She’s the mother of my children, Alice, I don’t understand why you don’t understand.”

 

“That’s bullshit,” she said, almost not recognizing the sound of her own voice, and she wanted to take it back when she saw the look in his eyes, but she held her ground. “I’m sorry if hearing me talk like this upsets you, FP, but I won’t take that back. It is bullshit. I’m the mother of your child, too, or is that something you’re content to toss aside because it doesn’t fit in this fictitious narrative that you’ve created?” 

 

“Alice, I--”   
  


“What? Let me guess, did you forget? That must be nice for you to be capable of doing.” 

 

“I didn’t forget, Alice, you’re not understanding me,” he insisted. 

 

“Oh, I understand. I’m not good enough, and I never was, I wasn’t good enough for you when we were teenagers and there were Vixens to screw, I wasn’t good enough for Hal ever in the 25 years that we were married, and now? Now that I think there could  _ possibly _ be a chance that we have something together? That the past months have meant something to you? Like they meant to me? You just throw that in my face because your estranged wife bought you my house? I see how it is, FP.”

 

“It’s not like that.” 

 

“Really? What is it like? Was I supposed to just know I was some warm body to lay beside until Gladys got bored of screwing everyone in Toledo over and came back here to take advantage of you, like she did for the entirety of your marriage?” 

 

Alice knew she was being cruel, and the part of her that loved FP and didn’t want him to get hurt was screaming at the part of her brain that was encouraging her to rip him a new one. She was just tired of being walked over everywhere she went. It had been one thing when she was married to Harold -- she’d known perfectly well what  _ he’d _ expected in a wife, and had been more than willing to play her part to get out of the Southside -- but it was growing tiring in other aspects of her life. First she’d lost her livelihood thanks to the terrible business dealings that Harold had insisted on embarking on, then she’d lost  _ any _ respect that Elizabeth had ever bothered to give her, just because she had joined an activity that her own child had disapproved of, and now she was faced with the knowledge that the only person she’d thought had actually loved her unconditionally had just wanted her for her body. She shouldn’t have been surprised. 

 

FP had rarely thought with his brain throughout the 43 years that she’d known him, and this was another typical display of his idiocy. 

 

“What are you talking about? Alice, I don’t know why you think that I think that little of you. You weren’t just...I wasn’t using you, Alice. I swear I wasn’t.”   
  


“Why not? Everyone else does. You’ve done it before. I’m not stupid, FP. I was nothing to you then, and I’m nothing to you now.”

 

“You’re not nothing to me,” he insisted. “Alice. I--she brought me back my daughter.” 

 

“She shouldn’t have taken her in the first place! You had every right to demand that she bring Jellybean back to you. I realize that you had a drinking problem, but you weren’t the terrible parent that you seem to have brought yourself up to be as. You aren’t your father, FP. The only person in your marriage that is like your father? That’s her.”

 

“I tried to,” he said. “When they left, when I sobered up, she said that I would never have the chance to get her back. Why would I, Alice? I have a record. I have no right to demand her to be in my life.” 

 

Alice raised an eyebrow. She was truthfully confused by FP’s statement. Hal still had rights to Elizabeth, and he was rotting in a jail cell because he was a serial killer, so why did FP think that he wouldn’t have been allowed to see his daughter because of a misdemeanor? The idea was the most ridiculous thing that Alice had ever heard.

 

“Hal is allowed to see Betty,” she pointed out. “Why would a charge that didn’t stop you from becoming our Sheriff preclude you from seeing your own child? I absolutely refuse to believe that  _ Gladys _ of all the people in the world has  _ any _ right to stop you from seeing her.”

 

“I...you’re really letting Betty see Hal?” 

 

“She just needed him to sign some papers,” Alice said, her tone brisk. “I wouldn’t worry too much about Elizabeth’s relationship with Harold. I’m sure that it’s perfectly normal.”

 

She shook her head. “Look, FP, all I’m saying is that I don’t understand why you seem to think remaining married to Gladys is a prerequisite to being in little Forsythia’s life. If you want my opinion? I’d sue her for divorce based on abandonment of your marriage. If you don’t love me? That’s fine. I’m used to that. I’m just saying that there are alternatives to your situation than shacking up with Gladys in a house on Elm Street that did  _ nothing _ good for any of the former residents.” 

 

“You said that the house didn’t mean anything to you!”

 

“I still wouldn’t live there,” she scoffed. “Elizabeth says that it’s known as the Murder House on Elm Street.” She rolled her eyes. “I just wish you would consider what I said.”

 

“What are you sayin’?”   
  


“That Gladys doesn’t love you,” Alice said, sensing the potential for her words to fall on deaf ears, “and that I could shove JB in one of my family portraits and she would fit right in.” 

 

“I’d love for things to end--”

 

“Stop it, FP. You’re not an idiot. I wasn’t implying that you and I were going to  _ ever _ have a blended family, or be the type of people that sat at the Sears for a damn family portrait. I was implying that there is something suspicious about your daughter. Surely you have to realize that she looks  _ nothing _ like you, and even less like Gladys.” 

 

“I...she’s mine,” he whispered. “She has to be. We were trying for a baby. Freddie had finally caved and made me a minority owner of the company, Alice. We had money. We were ready, she was planned, we  _ wanted _ her. Why the hell wouldn’t she be mine? Gladys  _ named _ her after me. I didn’t want to name her Forsythia. We had another name picked. I don’t understand.” 

 

He drew in a deep breath. “You think she knows?” 

 

“Who?” 

 

“Jellybean. Maybe that’s why she hates me so much. And why she’s pretending to like me now.” 

 

“Why do you think that Jellybean hates you?” Alice dreaded to ask. She was regretting opening her mouth in the first place. “I’m sorry, FP. I was just angry. I didn’t mean to say those things.” 

 

“You’re right, Alice. I did fuck around on you and if Hal is allowed to see Betty why the hell could Gladys keep Jellybean from me? There has to be something she’s hiding. And Jellybean does hate me. She told me that she did out in Toledo.” 

 

He shook his head. “No, that’s not what she said. She said she wanted a real dad. Now she’s being all  _ nice _ and it’s fuckin’ weird, okay? How the hell do you go from hating me to wanting to be my BFF in barely two months. Gladys probably told her and she’s playing me for the idiot that I am.”

 

“You’re not an idiot,” she said. “FP, if Gladys lied to you about who Jellybean’s father is and made you believe you were him, and you still don’t know if that’s true or not, that’s on her, not you. And you  _ are _ her father. I didn’t mean to make you think that you weren’t. If the two of you were legally married, you are her dad. It doesn’t matter who helped Gladys conceive her. I am, however, willing to bet, that Gladys doesn’t know that, and is using what knowledge she does have to manipulate you.”

 

“She does hate me, though. JB. She’s probably better off without me.” 

 

“Don’t say that.” 

 

“It’s not like it’s not true, Alice. Face it. I’m a shit father. To all of my kids. My children with Gladys know me as a drunken loser, and the baby that we had together didn’t know me at all. I can’t even blame you for not telling me and for giving him up because what the hell good would it have done for him to know me?” 

 

“I wish I had kept him,” she whispered. “I can’t regret Betty and Polly, but I wish I had kept him. Maybe he wouldn’t have lived his whole life in that  _ convent _ thinking that he was worthless and that we  _ hated _ him. And now he’s  _ dead  _ and you  _ hate _ me and so does Betty, she thinks I’m  _ crazy _ and she’s mad that I sold the house. I hope she doesn’t take it out on you, if she does, I’m so  _ sorry _ about it. About  _ everything _ that I’ve  _ ever  _ done. Including coming here and ruining your life, yet again.” 

 

“Come here,” he whispered. “Alice, it’s okay. I don’t hate you. I spent 25 years trying to hate you and I never could.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Look, Alice. I do love you. I just don’t want you being involved in whatever bullshit Gladys has planned, okay? And I didn’t mean to exclude you when I said that she was the mother of my children, I just meant...I wasn’t thinking.” 

 

“I just don’t want you--I don’t want you to get hurt,” she said. “I don’t want you to have your life ruined because of her. And I don’t want you to think that you need to be with her to see the kids. I just want you to know you have options.” 

 

She drew in a deep breath. “If those options mean that we can’t be together? That’s fine. I accept that. And, I accept that you don’t want me to be involved with Gladys’s plans. I just don’t want you to shut me out, okay? If being your friend is--if that’s all we can be--I would rather be your friend than have to pretend that I still hate you. Because I don’t hate you, FP. Not anymore.” 


	3. nail polish

“What’s up, Jellybelly?” FP asked, as he scooped up the little girl in his arms, and he held her close. “What have you got there?”

 

“Pretty nails, Daddy,” she informed him, her eyes wide with hope. “Make Daddy nails pretty.”

 

“You want to paint my nails?” 

 

“No,” she said. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Betty make Daddy’s nails pretty.”

 

“No, Jellybean, I don’t think so,” he said. “She won’t want to, and I don’t need pretty nails. Why don’t you see if Mama Allie wants hers done?”

 

“Betty  _ does  _ want to,” she insisted, her eyes wide, and her lips forming a pout, and he bit back a groan. “She say so.”

 

FP felt a headache coming on. He was glad that Jellybean had bonded with Alice’s daughters (and Alice of course) but he had never intended for that to extend to him being subjected to things like getting his nails done and, frankly, he was surprised that either girl wanted anything to do with him at all. They had a father, and FP respected that, even though he didn’t particularly enjoy Hal Cooper’s company. He’d tried his best to keep a respectful distance from Alice’s daughters. There was no point in confusing either of the girls. He was their stepfather, and nothing more. Given that FP barely knew how to be a dad, he was not very good at the new role of stepfather. He certainly didn’t ignore the girls, but he did his best to leave parenting them to Alice. She was their mother. 

 

“Why did you even suggest that to her? Don’t answer that, Jellybean. It was a rhetorical question.” He sighed. “All right, whatever. Fine.”

 

“Pretty nails?”

 

“Yeah, if Betty wants to give me pretty nails, she can.”

 

It was the path of least resistance. FP knew that it was easier to agree with Jellybean to make her happy, and he knew that doing things with Betty and Polly made Alice happy, and though he had done his best to try to dissuade Betty from wanting to do things with him, she had been unmoved by what he’d thought were principled arguments. It seemed that Betty didn’t mind having a stepfather in her life. 

 

“She  _ does _ want to,” Jellybean insisted. “She told me to ask you.”

 

“Are you sure she wouldn’t rather just paint Mama Allie’s?”

 

“She  _ gotted _ hers painted already,” Jellybean informed him. 

 

FP shrugged his shoulders. “All right, Jells. I’ll do it.” She squealed -- loudly -- and it practically deafened him. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to shout.”

 

“I get down, Daddy,” she insisted. “I bring you to them.”

 

FP had a fairly decent idea of where he would find Alice and Betty, judging by the fact that he could hear excited voices coming from the master bedroom, but he allowed the little girl to take him by the hand nonetheless, and lead him down the hall to the suite he shared with Alice. Betty had clearly taken over the master bathroom with her impromptu nail salon. 

 

“I gotted Daddy,” Jellybean announced, her tone betraying the sense of pride she’d developed. 

 

“You’re getting your nails done?” Alice questioned. “Really?”

 

“Jellybean said that Betty wanted me to,” he mumbled. “Don’t see the harm in it.” 

 

“You’ll really let me paint your nails?” Betty asked, hopefulness evident in her expression. “You don’t have to, FP, it’s okay.”

 

“Yes he does,” Jellybean insisted. “Pretty nails for Daddy.” 

 

“I want to, kid, honestly,” he said, and he smiled at her. “You really like your birthday present?” 

 

FP had impulsively bought Betty the nail art set on a whim, despite Alice insisting that it was meant for adults, and not children. He had been unable to resist. 

 

“It’s really fun,” she told him. “I like it a lot.” She crossed the room and gave him a hug. “I love you, FP.” 

 

“You love me?” 

 

“Yeah,” she said. “You’re my stepdad.” 

 

“I know that,” he said. “I try my best to do a good job with that.” 

 

“That’s why she loves you,” Alice chimed in. “You don’t have to look so horrified. It’s not like she’s painted your nails hot pink.” 

 

“Mommy said that I couldn’t,” Betty sighed. “She said that you probably wouldn’t want the guys on the construction site seeing that.” 

 

“I don’t care what they think,” he whispered. The thought that Betty loved him had put a lump in his throat. FP didn’t cry very much (he wasn’t a fan of showing emotions), but he’d never thought that it was possible for Alice’s daughters to love him. He was just the guy that had married their mom after their father left her. “If you want, you can pick pink. I’ll tell Fred and everyone to come to you, okay? Make ‘em look pretty. Whatever you want.” 

 

“Really?” She brushed a kiss to his cheek. “You’d really let me?”

 

“You’re the one that knows this stuff, not me,” he pointed out. “What do I care what people think? What matters to me is that you’re happy, Betty. The guys at work? I don’t care about them.” 

 

“Pink’s my  _ favorite _ color,” Betty said, her eyes filled with hope. “I would really love to. And it will look nice with your leathers. Can I go out on the bike soon?” 

 

“We’ll see, Elizabeth,” Alice said. “Why don’t you want to ride with me?”    
  


Betty didn’t dignify her mother with a response. “Sit down where Mommy is,” she commanded. “I’ll make your nails the most prettiest nails ever.” 

 

He did as he was told, and he leaned his head on Alice’s shoulder, in order to whisper in her ear. “I’ll ride you anytime, anywhere, babe.” 

 

“See?” Betty said. “You can ride with FP, Mommy. On his hog.” 

 

FP smirked. Alice glared at him. Jellybean looked intrigued. “You gots an oinker, Daddy?” 

 

“No, princess, Betty’s talkin’ about Daddy’s motorcycle,” he said. “No oinkers here.” 

 

“You should  _ get _ an oinker,” Jellybean informed him. “It can live in the tubby.” 

  
  
  



	4. oinkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jellybean gets a pet.

“Jellybean was asking for a pig again today,” Alice informed FP, as she stretched out beside him on the couch, not paying much mind to the program that was on the television. “I’ve been informed that not only does  _ she _ want an oinker, but so does her little brother.” 

 

“Does he now?” FP smirked at the thought. “What did you tell my little Bean?” 

 

“I told her that I didn’t think that we lived in a suitable home for such a creature,” she recounted. “And that I wasn’t aware the baby had learned how to communicate so well while still inside of me.” 

 

“Seems to me that the little critter’s pretty good at communication, especially when it’s the middle of the night, and the both of us are expecting to be soundly asleep. Didn’t think that he’d managed to tell Jellybelly that he wanted a pig.” He sighed. “I’ll talk to her, Alice. I’ll tell her that getting a pig is out of the question.” 

 

“Will it be as successful as your attempts to reason with this one here when it’s 3 in the morning?” 

 

“Hey, he listens to me,” he protested, his hands finding their way to Alice’s belly, where their son was happily rolling around, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He probably didn’t, Alice realized. “Sometimes. When he feels like it.” He licked his lips. “How did she take it?” 

 

“She was sad at first,” she admitted. “She asked me if that meant that she had to give up all of her oinkers, and I said no, that having stuffed animal pigs was fine, and that I was sure that the baby would like it if she got him one when he was born, and then she brought up Hot Dog.” 

 

“Hot Dog? How the hell does she remember him?” 

 

“It appears she was exposed to initiation tasks with her  _ wonderful _ mother, probably when you were at work before the two of you got divorced,” Alice sighed. “I asked if perhaps her reasoning for demanding a pig was because she missed the mutt and wanted a pet.” 

 

“Hot Dog wasn’t a pet, Al, you know that.” 

 

“I try not to think about poor Hot Dog, mainly because my pregnancy hormones are trying to encourage me to go over to that trailer park and  _ steal _ him to get him away from not knowing where his next doggy meal is or what half-assed attempt at care he’ll receive.” She sighed. “Jellybean was very young when you were allowing her around the Serpents. I suspect she does not know the difference, nor do I want her to. There is no need for her to know.” 

 

“You’d be okay with getting a dog?” FP’s tone was idle, but the look in his eyes betrayed him. “A real dog? Like to go with the kids, an’ the fence, an’ the house on Elm Street?” 

 

“Yes,” Alice sighed. “You’d have to promise to help care for the dog, though. I don’t want it all resting on me.”

 

“Of course, babe,” he whispered. “You wouldn’t have to lift a finger.” 

 

It was sweet. Alice knew better, but it was sweet. “Tell me more about never having to lift a finger?” She kissed him sweetly on the lips, as he tugged her closer to him. “You know all the nice things to say to me.” 

 

“You know I’ll do anything for you, babe.” 

 

“I know. Jellybelly told me that she wanted a dog,” she said. “I was thinking, maybe, though, that tomorrow, if you can get off work, we could take her to see an oinker or two?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. I think that we can handle a trip to the farm.” 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“Do we really get to see the oinkers, Daddy?” Jellybean questioned, as she held fast to FP’s hand, and he smiled down at the little girl. “Mama said that we gets to see them, and we gets to feed them, and that they like it here at the farm.” 

 

“They do like it here at the farm,” Alice said, as she peered at them through her sunglasses. “Farms are where oinkers belong, Jellybelly.” 

 

“What other animals are here?” 

 

“All kinds, Jellybean,” FP said, and he scooped her up into his arms. “Cows, chickens, goats, sheep…” 

 

“Daddy,” she said, her tone excited, as she pointed into the field where the sheep were. “Look! It’s Hot Doggy!” 

 

“Princess, Hot Dog does not herd sheep,” FP said, his tone firm. “What are you talking about?” 

 

“Does he have a baby brother?” She demanded. He squinted in the direction she was pointing in. “It  _ looks _ like Hot Doggy.” 

 

“It does, yeah,” he said in agreement. “That’s because Hot Dog is a sheepdog. Maybe that is his brother or sister.” 

 

“Mama Allie says the baby’s a boy,” she informed him. “Brother, not sister.” 

 

“I know, but, it’s different for dogs, they have more than one baby at once.”

 

Jellybean seemed to consider this. She nodded slowly. “Can we get a Hot Doggy dog? After we meet the oinkers?” 

 

“We’ll see, okay?” He pressed a kiss to her head. “I didn’t know you knew Hot Dog.” 

 

“I miss him,” she pouted. “I wish he could stay with us, even though you’re not a snake anymore.” 

 

“Hot Dog likes it on the Southside,” he told her. “We can get a dog like Hot Dog, though? Would you like that?” 

 

She nodded. “Mama said that doggies are much better pets than oinkers.” 

 

“Yes, I did say that,” Alice said. “Because they are, Jellybelly. That doesn’t mean that you can’t like oinkers, they just do not belong in my mid-century colonial.” 

 

“How’s baby brother?” Jellybean asked. “Does he like the farm?” 

 

Alice giggled. “I think so. He’s certainly active.” 

 

“I want to hold hands,” she informed him. “I can walk.” 

 

FP carefully put Jellybean down on the ground, and he watched her take her hand and gently place it on Alice’s bump, the excited squeal she gave confirmation that the baby had kicked for her. He wrapped his arm around Alice’s waist. 

 

“Look what’s up ahead,” Alice told her. “What do you see, Jellybelly?” 

 

“Ooh, Mama, the oinkers! They’re so big! I go say hi to them.” 

 

“Go ahead, baby,” she said. “Just be gentle.” 

  
  
  



	5. graduation day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Does it really mean that much to you that we’re a family?”
> 
> “I want us all to be a family,” she said, her voice quiet.

“Do you think Mommy is coming?” Jellybean demanded of Alice, her eyes filled with hopeful curiosity, and Alice bit back the unkind comment that came to her mind. “Daddy said that he invited her,” she added. “And Betty said that Uncle Hal is coming.” The preschooler stumbled over her words, and Alice managed not to sigh out loud. “Why does he go to things but not Mommy?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Alice said, once Jellybean paused for breath. “I don’t know why your mother does the things that she does, and I don’t know if she will be at your brother and Betty’s graduation today. I don’t want to get your hopes up and have you be disappointed, Jellybelly.” 

 

“It’s okay, Mama Allie,” she insisted. “How’s baby brother?” Jellybean hovered her hand above Alice’s ever-growing baby belly, clearly awaiting an invitation to touch it, and she smiled at her, and gently placed her hand where the baby was kicking. It was hot out, and Alice was sure the entire day would be miserable in her pregnant state, but she was willing to use the baby as a distraction for Jellybean, if Jellybean was willing to be distracted. She squealed. “He kicked me!”

 

“He did, didn’t he?” She nodded. “He likes you, baby girl. Come on, we should get ready, shouldn’t we?” 

 

“Yes, Mama,” she agreed. “I want to wear a pretty dress like you and Polly and Betty are gonna.” 

 

“Of course you may wear a pretty dress.” She pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Why don’t you help me decide what to wear, and then I’ll help you?” 

 

In truth, Alice was dreading the sure to be disaster that was the Riverdale Elementary School fifth grade graduation, not that she was planning on admitting her true feelings on the subject to anyone involved, least not innocent Jellybean, who was not the appropriate venue for adult complaints. There was nothing that Alice loathed more than conflict she did not cause at events, and she sensed the potential for adults behaving like children. Elizabeth had managed to fill her with dread when she mentioned that Hal’s parents were coming to town to see their youngest grandchild graduate, and her mood hadn’t abated when the familiar sound of slamming doors and raised voices had signaled the temporary return of Mary Andrews. Honestly. It was like no one had learned how to act like adults with the exception of her. 

 

“Are we really going out to eat as a family?” Jellybean continued her line of questioning. “Did Uncle Hal really say that Mommy could go if she came? Am I allowed--”   
  


“Of course you’re allowed to go to with us,” Alice said. “Yes, Harold extended the invitation to your mother. Jellybean you do realize that just because we’re going out to eat to celebrate Jughead and Elizabeth’s graduation...” She trailed off, sensing the potential to upset her stepdaughter was greater than her satisfaction of feeling right about something, and she sat down on the edge of her and FP’s bed, allowing the young girl to climb up beside her, which Jellybean was happy to do, settling her head on Alice’s bump. “Does it really mean that much to you that we’re a family?” 

 

“I want us  _ all _ to be a family,” she said, her voice quiet. “Mommy gets really mad whenever I tell her that, though. She said that it would  _ never _ be a real family, that Daddy took that away from us when they broke up.” 

 

“Did she?” 

 

“She says that Daddy took us from her and told people  _ lies _ to get us so that we could live with you and Daddy,” she dutifully reported. “Is that true?”

 

“Your father has always wanted what’s best for you,” she said, her tone assuring. “Don’t worry about what your mother says.” 

 

“Okay,” she sniffled. “Will you do my hair pretty, Mama?” 

 

“Of course, Jellybelly. You want curls, like me?” 

 

Jellybean nodded, a wide grin blossoming on her face. “Yes, curls like you.” 

  
  


***

  
  


“Remind me again why we have to do this?” FP asked Alice, his tone low, as they sat in the seats that Jughead and Betty had picked out for them, feeling beyond uncomfortable at the entire ordeal that awaited them. FP liked interacting with Gladys as little as possible, and he had chafed at the thought that they potentially had to spend the entire day with the woman, not that she’d shown up. “I hate these clothes, Alice.” 

 

“I know you don’t like dressing up,” she told him, and she squeezed his hand. “Do you think that I particularly enjoy spending more than three minutes sitting in a  _ metal folding chair _ in my current state? It’s important for the kids,” she insisted. “We need to talk about Gladys.”

 

“What do you mean, we need to talk about Gladys?” FP demanded, as he glanced around for Jellybean, mercifully spotting her sitting with Fred and Mary, several rows away. “What the hell has she done now?” 

 

“I don’t like what she’s been saying to Jellybean,” she whispered. “She’s trying to involve her in things that don’t concern her, that she’s too young to need to know about.” 

 

“What are you talking about, Al?” 

 

“This morning, when I was getting her ready to come here, she was asking me questions, you know? And, that’s fine, I don’t mind Jellybean asking me things, she’s just a kid, you know? I just...she was talking about how she just wants everyone to get along and be a family and then she tells me that Gladys tells her that you ruined those chances for her when you two got a divorce. I told her that that wasn’t true, that we were a family, and that she didn’t need to worry, but the fact that she’s being led to believe these things…”   
  


“I’ll talk to her about it,” he said. “Not today, not here, I don’t want her to get into a giant fight with me in front of all of these people, including the kids, but, I will speak to her about it. She shouldn’t be saying those things to Jelly.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. “You’re a good mom. To all of our kids.” 

 

FP tried his best not to overstep his boundaries in his relationships with Alice’s daughters. They had a father, and it wasn’t him, and FP had every intent to respect the role that Hal had in their lives, even if he thought he was the most pompous person to grace the earth, and even if he knew that he looked down on him and Alice from being Southsiders, even though FP had done everything he possibly could to disassociate himself from the gang he’d once run with, that had sent Gladys down the paths that she’d gone down, and tried to drag him along with her. He liked Betty and Polly, he did, but he knew that he was destined to be second best, and he had accepted that. His own father had never bothered to give him the time of day, so he certainly wasn’t going to stop the kids from seeing their father that cared about them. 

 

Alice hadn’t had that luxury when it came to Jughead and Jellybean. Gladys had very limited visitation because the family court judge had decided that the benefits that they would have being in her life were outweighed by the issues that her being a present parent contributed. Which made sense. FP knew that things were different now, that he might have been taken away from Senior if he’d been born even five years later, it made sense that the courts didn’t want Gladys in the kids’ lives. What pissed him off was that she seemed content to foist all of the blame, for her issues, on him and Alice. They hadn’t even been together when he’d gotten full custody of them! 

 

“How are you feeling?” He asked her. “You and the little critter good?” 

 

“I’m tired,” she admitted. “He’s good, though. Pretty active.”

 

“Because of Jellybean?” 

 

Alice shook her head. “No, because our wonderful neighbors spent the entire evening acting like they are a herd of elephants, and not two 30-something professionals that should know how to behave.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s hard enough to get comfortable with the baby deciding that the middle of the night is my favorite time for him to rediscover my bladder, and then they just--ugh. I get that they’re angry at each other but they are angering  _ me _ and I doubt highly that they want to do such a thing.” 

 

“I’ll talk to them, too,” he murmured. “You think he’d kick for me?” 

 

She giggled. “Yeah, of course, he’ll kick for you. You don’t have to ask that.” 

 

He placed his hand on her belly, pleased with their son’s reaction to him, and he kissed Alice on the top of her head, taking care not to mess up her hair. FP couldn’t wait to meet the new addition to their family, and he didn’t know how he would be capable of waiting until the baby’s due date. Alice was due in August, and it seemed like every day between now and then was an eternity. Not that he wanted the baby to come early. He didn’t want that at all. The baby had been a long time coming for them -- they had tried for so long, and he’d felt like a failure at the decided lack of results -- and he was quite willing to relish the entirely of Alice’s pregnancy. 

 

“Should I retrieve Jellybelly?” 

 

“I’m here, Daddy,” Jellybean squealed, directly in his ear. “I want to go on the stage.” 

 

“Baby, you can’t.” He pulled her up and onto his lap. “That’s for the big kids, yeah? When you’re Betty and Jughead’s age, you’ll get to, okay?” 

 

“Okay,” she said, her gaze turning to Alice. “Where’s Mommy?” 

 

“I don’t know, Jellybean,” Alice sighed. “If I knew where your mother was, I would tell you.” 

 

“You don’t think she’s coming? Daddy?” 

 

FP sighed. “I don’t know if she’s coming or not,” he told her, and he winced as he saw the look on her face. Despite all of Gladys’s failings, Jellybean still loved her mother. He had never done anything to convince her not to. Sometimes, though, he wished that he had. “You know how your mother is, JB. She tries to go to things for you kids, but sometimes she can’t.” 

 

Jellybean wrinkled her nose. “But, Uncle Hal is coming, and he and Mama got splitted up too,” she informed him, as if this was information that would change Gladys into a semi-functioning memory of society. “Betty and Polly gets to see him all the time,” she added.

 

“Things are different for Betty and Polly,” FP said after a moment. “Hal is--Hal doesn’t have the issues that your mother has,” he tried to explain. “Your stepsisters, they’re safe at his house, your mom, she does things that make her unsafe for you to be around her. It doesn’t mean that she’s a bad person, Jelly, she’s just...not safe for you and Jughead to be around. She put the two of you in situations that could have really hurt you.” 

 

“So it’s not because I’m bad?” 

 

“You’re not bad, Jellybelly,” he said, hoping his words assured her. “No one involved in this is bad, but, if they were, you and Jughead would never be on the bad list.” 

 

Jellybean seemed to be considering this, though she worried her lower lip as she did. The tears that had threatened to escape her eyes seemed to diminish. FP breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

“Did Mama make you all pretty for today?” 

 

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, and she shot him (and Alice) a grin. “She did my hair like hers and she picked me out a pretty dress, and she let me cuddles with her and the baby. He kicked loads for me.” 

 

“So, does it really matter if your mom comes or not?” 

 

Jellybean shrugged. “Do we still get to go out to eat?” 

 

“Yeah, baby girl, we’d still get to go out to eat,” he confirmed, and he shot Alice a knowing glance over Jellybean’s head. FP was fairly certain that the only thing that he and Hal Cooper agreed on was that neither of them wanted Gladys to be her disastrous self at whatever vaguely child-unfriendly restaurant he’d gotten them all reservations at. “You hungry?”

 

“She might not be, but I am,” Alice informed him. “Why are you asking?” 

 

“Got some candy for my two favorite girls,” he told her. “Figured I’d share.” 

 

“I want candy,” Jellybean informed him. “So does my baby brother.” Alice smiled fondly at her. “He does, right, Mama?” She nodded. Jellybean beamed. “I’ll share with him.” 

 

“You’re a good girl, Jelly.” 

  
  



	6. i (don't) see dead people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, I’m not okay,” she said, her tone broken. “Mr. Jones...what has my mom told you about the Farm? Has she told you anything?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note this contains spoilers from 3.17

“Jughead’s girlfriend is crying,” JB announced as she entered the basement portion of Alice's house that FP had claimed as his own, and he stared at her in confusion. “Betty? She’s crying. I would send Mom up, but she’s not home, and I don’t think Mom likes her anyways, so, I guess, maybe you should go talk to her?” 

 

“Why is Betty crying?” FP felt very confused. “Do you know what happened?” 

 

She shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe they gave her the wrong milkshake at Pop’s,” she suggested. “I really don’t know, Dad. She said that I was too  _ young _ to know what was going on.” Her tone made it clear that she thought that was bullshit. FP bit back a sigh. 

 

“Okay, JB, I’ll go talk to her,” he said. “Why don’t you think your mother likes Betty?” 

 

“She doesn’t like Jughead very much,” she drawled. “Why would she like his girlfriend?”

 

“Why don’t you think that your mother likes your brother?” FP questioned. “JB, you know that if there’s something you want to tell me, I’ll be there for you. Whatever it is.”

 

She hesitated. “Maybe later, Dad. I think you should check on Betty, first.”

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He sighed. “Where’s your mother?” 

 

“Couldn’t tell you.” 

 

He allowed Jellybean to lead him to Betty, who was indeed curled up on the couch, weeping into the blanket that she had wrapped around herself. 

 

“You okay?” FP asked, and he sat on the couch beside her. 

 

He had always thought that he would be doing things like sitting on Alice’s couch beside her daughter with Alice present, but as typical, Gladys had decided to fuck him over and do things that on the surface sounded nice, but, in reality, ruined people’s lives. He really didn’t care that she’d ruined  _ his _ life. FP was sadly used to that. He just hadn’t expected her to ruin Alice’s and Betty’s as well. 

 

“No, I’m not okay,” she said, her tone broken. “Mr. Jones...what has my mom told you about the Farm? Has she told you anything?” 

 

“We haven’t really spoken about it, no,” he said. It was partly the truth. “Just that your sister and the farm want to help her get over what your father did to her.” 

 

“Didn’t you wonder why I moved in here?”   
  


“Honestly, Betty, I didn’t want to ask, because it’s really not my business. I assumed that you and your mother were fighting, and you wanted to live with the boy, in the house that his mother bought out from under your mother, because she knew that if your mother had had half a damned idea  _ who _ was buying it, she wouldn’t have sold.” He sighed. “I’m familiar with not having a home, Betty. I was homeless when I was your age. It didn’t seem like my place to press you. Did I wonder? A bit. But I figured that if it was something that I could help you with, you’d come to me.” 

 

“I should have come to you sooner,” she admitted. “I just...I thought I could fix it on my own. But, I can’t.”

 

FP drew in a deep breath. “What happened, Betty?” 

 

“Mom thinks that she’s seeing Charles,” she said in a whisper. “She is absolutely  _ convinced  _ of it.”

 

“...Charles?”

 

FP had tried to block all thoughts of the child he and Alice had had together from his mind. It had been clear that she didn’t want to talk about him, and even he didn’t think that their dead son was an appropriate conversational topic post-coitus. 

 

“I think that she’s being drugged,” Betty continued. “Given that my sample size of your peers claims that she has behaved perfectly normal around all of them, and she behaves like she has taken leave of every sense in the tri-state area when she’s around Polly, and all of the other idiots that she associates with.” 

 

“That’s pretty hard to prove, Betty.”   
  


“Is it? Even with these pills that I took from her purse while she was distracted? Are you saying that you couldn’t test them?”

 

“And, then, what? I tell your mother the truth, and I break her heart? Haven’t I done enough of that, lately?”

 

“I think that she’ll believe you,” Betty said, after a moment. “Or, rather, you’re the closest to a person she has  _ any _ chance of believing. No offense, but Mrs. Jones really doesn’t want me here. Or Jughead, for that matter.”

 

“She’s his mother.”

 

“That means  _ very _ little to her,” Betty informed him. “Please, just see what those are, Mr. Jones?”

 

“Of course,” he said. “Anything for you.”    
  


Betty was like a daughter to him. He didn’t see the harm in investigating.

  
  


***

  
  


“I don’t understand,” Alice said. “What am I doing here? Did you  _ tell _ Elizabeth to blindfold me and drag me into your office as part of your sick plot to make me miserable?”

 

“I had Betty bring you here so my deputies wouldn’t arrest you,” he said, feeling like he’d aged several years. “I can’t personally be involved in the sting since Gladys is one of the people that is being busted, so I thought I would spend some quality time with you.” 

 

“What if I don’t want to--arrested? Why are they arresting people?” 

 

“They’re cops, Alice, it’s part of the job. Unless you meant why are they arresting the people at the Farm?”

 

“Of course that’s what I mean,” she hissed. “Why on earth is the Farm illegal, all of a sudden?”

 

“Alice, I know that you’ve been seeing Charles there,” FP said, his tone quiet. “Betty told me. I was a bit concerned about the fact that you were seeing our deceased child, and I decided that as your friend, and the Sheriff, not doing my due diligence would have been negligent.”

 

“Did you want to see him with me?” Alice asked. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think that you’d believe me. I shouldn’t have kept him from you. I did it again. I’m so  _ sorry _ that I did it again, FP. We can go see him, together, if you want.” 

 

“Al…”

 

“What?” 

 

“He’s not real,” he told her. “Alice, I know that you thought he was real, and I don’t think that you’re crazy, or anything. The reason that you were seeing Charles is because the so-called vitamins that they made you take were, in reality, Fizzle Rocks.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“They’ve been drugging you,” he said. “Visual and auditory hallucinations are a side effect. Honey, I know that you regret what happened with Charles, but you  _ had _ to know that he wasn’t real. There had to be some  _ part _ of you that understood that.” 

 

“I wanted him to be real,” she whispered. “He seemed so real, FP, and I’m  _ never _ going to see him, so I wanted to have him be real. I don’t want to be a  _ Fizzle Rocks _ junkie. “

 

“I know, Alice.”

 

“You should arrest me,” she said. “I was a horrible mother to Betty. I was horrible to you, and now, I’m a damn drug addict.” 

 

“I was thinking that you could just come home,” he said. “I mean, I’m sleeping in the basement, but I’m willing to gut your old room for you.” 

 

“Why are you sleeping in the basement?” 

 

“I told you, Alice, she’s the mother of my children. That’s all that she is to me. I don’t want to share your bed with her.” He wrinkled his nose. “Plus, she, Evernever, and Lodge are all going to be busted for their roles in the drug bust.” 

 

“What about Polly?” 

 

“I dunno, Al,” he said, his tone honest. “Could go either way with her. Depends on what she knows.”

 

“He’s really not real?”   
  


“I wish he was.” FP meant it. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m so stupid,” she said. “This is the second time.”

 

“You’re not stupid, Alice,” he insisted. “You just...you were grieving, hurt. You wanted hope. I can’t fault you for that.” 


	7. little critter's new trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Does Little Critter like me?”

“Whatcha guys doing?” Jellybean asked, as she eyed the scene in front of her with curious eyes. “Little Critter okay?”

 

Jellybean knew about the little baby that was on the way, mainly because her dad had taken her and Jughead out for ice cream and had told them they were going to have a little sibling, but beyond that she really hadn’t paid the baby much mind. Mama Allie was still Mama Allie, baby or no baby on the way, and she still did the things with Jellybean that she’d always done, so the baby had been a mystery to her. 

 

“Come here, Jellybean,” her dad said, and she wrinkled her nose. Daddy hadn’t answered her question, and she wanted to play Barbies with him, not sit there and bother Mama Allie for what seemed to Jellybean to be no reason. “Mama and I want to show you something.”

 

“Show me what?”

 

“Little Critter wants to say hi to you,” Mama Allie said. 

 

“How, Mama?”

 

“Come here and we’ll show you.” 

 

Jellybean walked over to them, having decided that upsetting Mama Allie wasn’t something she wanted to do. She clutched her doll tightly in her hand, and climbed up onto the couch, where Mama had saved a spot for her on her other side. The baby was something that Jellybean wasn’t entirely certain of. She loved her dad and she loved her mama, but she didn’t understand why they’d decided to add having a baby into things. She just knew that the baby made them happy. That made her happy, too.

 

“You were supposed to play Barbies with me,” she reminded her dad. “Are you gonna play with Little Critter instead?” 

 

“We’ll play Barbies with you in a little,” Mama Allie promised her, and she ruffled her hair. “I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean for Little Critter to start kicking when you wanted to play with your dad.” 

 

“He’s tricking you?” 

 

Jellybean had made the decision that Little Critter was a boy, because she didn’t want a little sister to take her place. She was scared that a brother would, too, but she  _ had _ a brother, so she knew what to expect. Mama Allie had said that she had sisters, too, but Betty and Polly didn’t live there all the time, so she didn’t view them as competition. Most of the time.

 

Mama Allie giggled. “No, baby girl. Kicking, honey. He’s saying hello.” 

 

“But he’s too  _ little _ to say hello,” she insisted. Daddy had told her all about how important it was for the baby to grow big and strong inside of Mama Allie, and she knew that it was nowhere near the day on the calendar he had bought her. Every day Jellybean got to pick out a sticker to stick to the calendar. “Daddy said summertime.” Jellybean  _ knew _ that it wasn’t summertime. It was too cold, and Jugs had to go to school during the day. “Are you okay?” 

 

“Yes, sweetie, of course,” she said. “Why do you ask?” 

 

“Cause you said Little Critter was saying hello,” Jellybean said. “Doesn’t that mean he wants to come out?” 

 

“Oh, sweetie, no. The baby’s  _ kicking _ for us, darling. He or she wants to play with us, just like you want to play Barbies.” 

 

“I think Little Critter is too little to play Barbies with us,” she admitted, after a moment of thought. “I would let them play if they weren’t.” She curled herself closer to Alice, and she touched her tummy, more out of curiosity than anything. “He kicking for Daddy?” 

 

“Yeah, Jells, you want to feel?” 

 

“I cuddle with Mama Allie,” she decided. If Little Critter was going to trick and she  _ happened _ to feel it, Jellybean would be okay with that. She didn’t like all the attention that the baby was getting however, and was not going to add to it. “Does the tricking hurt you?” She didn’t want the baby to hurt her. 

 

“No, darling, it doesn’t hurt. You don’t have to feel the baby if you don’t want to. I know that just because it’s exciting for Daddy and me doesn’t mean that you’re excited.” 

 

Jellybean was not excited at all for the baby. The baby meant that she was being replaced. Why would she be excited for that? 

 

“Does Little Critter like me?” 

 

“Why wouldn’t he?” 

 

“FP, that’s not a helpful response,” Mama said. “You’re his...or her...big sister, Jellybelly. They’re going to love you.”

 

“You  _ promise _ that?” 

 

“Of course I promise,” she said. “Are you nervous about the new baby?” 

 

Jellybean nodded. “The baby is yours and Daddy’s,” she said, her tone miserable. “Will you even play with me when Little Critter comes? You said next year I couldn’t work with you anymore.” 

 

“Because you’re going to school, Jellybelly,” she said. “Not because of the baby. And I didn’t mean that you would never come to work with me, I just meant that you’d be old enough to go to school, that’s all.” Mama Allie gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Of course I’ll play with you. With the baby, and without the baby.”

 

“Just because Mama Allie and I are having a baby together doesn’t mean we love you any less,” her dad added. “We just want to add to our family, give you a little sibling. They’re probably gonna look up to you, yeah?” He grinned at her. “And, Jelly, I’ll always play with you. You don’t have to worry about that. I’m sorry that I got distracted by the baby. I was just excited because it’s the first time he’s really kicked.”

 

“The first time?” 

 

“Yeah, so, I was excited. I didn’t mean to take so long.” 

 

“I didn’t know it was because he learned something new,” she admitted. “Like when I learned how to ride a bike with the little wheels?” 

 

“Yeah, honey, like that.” 

 

Jellybean contemplated this. “I wanna see his trick,” she decided. “Will you help me?”

 

“Are you sure? We can go play Barbies. You don’t have to.” 

 

“I want to, Daddy.” She crawled across Mama Allie’s legs so that she could sit on his lap. “I’m a big sister.” 

 

Daddy gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You’re gonna be a great one.” 

 

“Does he still want to say hi to me?” She directed the question at Mama Allie. Since Little Critter was inside of her, Jellybean thought it made sense to ask. “Or is it sleepy time for him?”

 

“No, he’s pretty active in there,” she said. “Come say hello, Jellybean. It’s all right.”

 

“Where is he?” Jellybean questioned. “You show me, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

 

Mama Allie smiled at her, and she took her hand and pressed it down on her tummy. “He’s right here, honey, just give him a minute.” 

 

“I can be patient,” she said. “I good girl.” 

 

“You’re the best.” 

 

Jellybean preened. It was nice for her dad to acknowledge how wonderful she was. She felt a movement beneath her palm. “Mama, is that the baby?” 

 

“Yeah, Jellybelly, it is.” She felt it again. “What do you think?” 

 

“It tickles,” she admitted. “Is he gonna do that  _ all the time _ now?” 

 

“Not all the time, sweetie, but a lot, I’m sure.” 

 

“It’s a cool trick, Little Critter,” she chirped. “Just don’t play so hard you hurt Mama.”


	8. quarter after one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Babe, wake up. The baby is having a party in here! Give me your hand!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> celine_cooperjones requested prompt #3 from the imaginesmultifandoms post about pregnancy prompts. I hope you like it. As always, feel free to send me requests.

The fact that FP and Alice were expecting a child together had been somewhat of an adjustment for their respective sets of children. Jughead and Betty had taken it in their stride (FP did not find Jughead’s use of the  _ All My Children _ theme song for his ringtone to be in any way funny), but Polly and Jellybean had been quite upset. It appeared that Polly’s anger was due to a combination of factors, mainly that with the news of the little one on the way Alice had decided to take leave of the farm, and there was the additional factor of the fact that he had been a party to Jason’s death, which offended Polly immensely but had caused Alice to gaze at him with lust filled eyes. Jellybean was upset because she had been led to believe she was being replaced by the baby, even though FP had assured her it wasn’t true, and he’d promised her that he wanted her to get to know the baby, in spite of her living in Toledo. Unlike Polly, she had managed to be somewhat mollified.

 

With the bundle of joy that was on the way, it became clear that shifts at Pop’s weren’t going to bring the bacon home, and though he appreciated Fred’s offer of returning to his crew, he just couldn’t trust him that they’d remain fiscally solvent. He liked Fred, he really did, but he wasn’t getting any younger, and he was determined to do right by the baby, and by Alice. So when the Mayor was recalled after it was discovered she had murdered the Sheriff, and the town had no choice but to temporarily reassign Sierra McCoy to the role (truthfully, FP thought that was because no one else  _ wanted _ to do it) they had been faced with a slight problem. While Tom Keller had been willing to resume his role as the Sheriff, it seemed that the court of public opinion seemed to find the Sheriff being married to the Mayor to be an unsavory proposition. FP didn’t really get it, but Tom had pointed out that  _ he _ had experience as a cop (it had seemed as good a job as ever when he’d been out of the service, until Gladys and the Serpents had fucked that up) and, well, there was Alice and the kid on the way, and the two teenagers that were very much present to consider (not to mention Jellybean), and FP had decided that he would make a  _ damn _ fine Sheriff. 

 

He really did like the gig. Alice thought his uniform was sexy (fuck she was hot in it) and he finally made enough to put food on the table for everyone and even save money for the kids so that they could maybe have something resembling a future. It was just an unfortunate byproduct of the job that sometimes he was home entirely past Alice’s bedtime. The baby tired Alice out and frankly he didn’t begrudge her her early nights. Most of the time he was exhausted when he worked late, anyways. There was no need to keep her and the baby up. 

 

It was the same that night as many others. He’d come home and glared at Jughead and Betty until they turned off the television and headed upstairs, wolfed down a quick bowl of cereal, brushed his teeth and took a quick shower, and headed upstairs, towel wrapped around his waist, looking forward immensely to crawling in bed beside Alice and falling soundly asleep. 

 

He dropped the towel on the floor and crawled into bed beside her, relieved that she appeared to be sleeping soundly. He pressed a kiss into her hair and ran his hand across her bump. It appeared the baby was sleeping too. He didn’t want to disturb either one of them. He was exhausted, and was glad he had the next day off. The kids were old enough to get themselves to school, and he and Alice deserved a lie in, if their little one would allow it. The baby -- a girl -- had decided ideas on when her parents were allowed to sleep and for what duration. He was impressed at the baby for letting Alice sleep at all. 

 

It had been a day. FP was asleep before his head hit the pillows. 

 

“Babe, wake up,” he heard Alice insist, and he felt her roughly shrug his shoulders. He peered at her blearily, trying to force himself to fully awaken. He hoped that nothing had happened to the baby. Alice was in her third trimester, but only just barely. “The baby is having a party in here! Give me your hand!” FP did as he was told.

 

“I don’t know what she’s up to in there,” Alice continued, as she placed his hand on her belly, and he felt the ripples of motion against her skin. “She’s never been this active before.” 

 

“She must think that the Sheriff is off duty,” he teased, and he felt himself wake somewhat, pleased beyond all belief that the baby was putting on such a show for him. “And that that means that she can have herself a little rave in you.” He grinned dopily at her. “She’s a silly girl, because I’m always on duty when it comes to her.” 

 

“She must know you’re here,” Alice mused. “She’s always very active when I’m with you.” 

 

“Yeah?” The baby’s dance party had given him a second wind. “She must love me.”

 

“I think so.” Alice kissed him gently, as she shifted closer to him. “You know, I love you, too. She’s not the only one.” 

 

“I love you both, so much,” he told her, and he caressed her belly, feeling the baby’s motions as he moved his hand. “I can’t believe we’re almost in the home stretch.” 

 

“You excited?” 

 

“You know I am,” he said. “I ordered her a Sheriff’s hat of her very own,” he admitted. “Maybe she’ll want to be like me.”

 

“Oh, that will be so cute,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to see.” 

 

“On her? Or in general?” He nuzzled her neck. “How long has she been going like this?”

 

“Not very long,” Alice told him. “I was going to let you sleep, you looked so cute, but I thought you’d like feeling this more.” 

 

“I do,” he insisted. “It’s not hurting you, is it?” 

 

Alice shook her head. “No, she’s just very active, it’s not bothering me, though.” 

 

“I love you,” he breathed. “Thank you for her. Thank you for waking me up.” 

 

“We love you, too, don’t we, little love?” 

 

As if the baby knew she was being spoken to, she kicked even harder. “Yeah, kid,” he said. “You love us, too.” 


	9. some enchanted evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Honey you’re pregnant that’s all baby. You look beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> celine_cooperjones requested prompt number #27 from here: http://imaginesmultifandoms.tumblr.com/post/163649979729/pregnancy-prompts

“I feel disgusting,” Alice told FP, her eyes flashing as she scowled at her reflection in the mirror. “Do we really need to go to this?” 

 

As far as Alice was concerned, Harold could go to the event alone, and cover it his damn self. She had no desire to go pander to the masses at some stupid gala event while she teetered around on high heels that simply made her feet hurt and felt like a squeezed sausage in whatever dress she’d managed to get on. It was hot out, she was eight months pregnant, and she was completely miserable. The thought of having to sit there and listen to Tom Keller prattle on about God only knew what was practically too much for her to bear. 

 

“You’re not disgusting, Al,” FP said, and she pursed her lips, watching him in the mirror as he lounged on the bed. “What makes you say that?”   
  


“Look at me!” She exclaimed. “I feel gigantic. I  _ am _ gigantic. I’m going to look  _ terrible _ in whatever I wear because I resemble a walrus, and--” 

 

“You don’t resemble a walrus,” FP told her, and he climbed off the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She drew in a deep breath. “Honey, you’re pregnant.” She sniffled softy. “That’s all baby. You look beautiful.”

 

Alice knew that FP meant it. She knew how attractive he found her, it seemed he was more into her every day. He loved her, and he loved the baby. 

 

“You’re very sweet,” she whispered, and she shifted in his arms so she could peck him on the lips. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

 

“You think I want to go to some bullshit tongue bath to the Riverdale Sheriff’s Department?” FP scoffed. “You don’t want to go, we don’t have to go, end of story. I’m not gonna force you to dress up and go to this stupid thing if you don’t want to.” 

 

“You don’t mind if we stay at home with the kids?” Alice had to admit that being heavily pregnant in the summer had made her feel incredibly lame, not that FP had seemed to mind. “Well, maybe--why don’t we see if Betty and Jughead still want to spend the night next door. Jellybelly can stay here.” 

 

Jellybean had protested the fact that she was going with Betty and Jughead to Fred’s house rather heartily, and the little one’s upset at the thought of a night away from her and FP had practically broken Alice’s heart. She didn’t know what was going to happen when the baby finally made his appearance. Not that there was any sign of an early arrival -- Little Critter was snug as a bug inside of her -- though he was feeling like he was rather big. Truthfully? It was partly her tears that had made Alice start to reconsider being forced out into the heat for the ridiculous event. 

 

“What about Polly?” FP asked.

 

“She’s at a sleepover with some of her friends,” she told him. “You really think I look beautiful?” 

 

“Al, of course. This is all I’ve ever wanted and I’m experiencing it with you.” He kissed her on the forehead. “I think that sounds like a good idea. Jellybean didn’t exactly seem overjoyed by the thought of us leaving.” 

 

“You’re not going?” Jellybean’s voice demanded from the hallway, and Alice would have jumped a mile if she wasn’t smuggling around a basketball in her belly. “I don’t have to go next door?” 

 

“I’ll go get her,” FP said.

 

Alice hastily threw on a t-shirt and a pair of FP’s boxers. The shirt exposed her belly somewhat, but she didn’t really mind. It was better than appearing as if she was a nudist around a five year old girl. By the time FP brought a now-giggling Jellybean in, Alice was dressed. 

 

“What’s so funny?” 

 

“Daddy tickled me, Mama,” she chirped. “He said if Juggie and Betty wants to sleep over with Archie I gets you and Little Critter all to myself.” 

 

“You’ll have to share me with Daddy,” Alice told her. “Are you feeling like a good sharer?” 

 

Jellybean nodded. The little girl took her job as big sister seriously. Alice was unsurprised that she took sharing seriously too. 

 

“I’m a good sharer,” she whispered. “I’m glad you’re staying home.” 

 

“Jellybelly,” Alice said, and she sat on the foot of the bed, and patted the spot beside her. Jellybean clambered up and laid her head on Alice’s belly, clearly in the need of some comfort. “I understand that the sleepover you tried to have with your mother went badly, but are you going to be willing to sleep over at Uncle Fred’s when Little Critter comes?” 

 

“I want to stay with Betty and Polly,” she said. 

 

“Betty and Polly? But they’re going…” Alice trailed off. She decided to make an executive decision. “Fine. I will talk to Harold tomorrow.” 

 

“You will?” FP and Jellybean questioned at the same time. 

 

“I don’t have the energy to fight Jellybean on this,” Alice said, and she sighed. “At least I know that she will be with the girls, and she won’t be scared and alone.”

 

“It was scary when Mommy left me by myself,” Jellybean chimed in. “She let Hot Doggy stay but everything was so loud.” 

 

“I know, baby,” she soothed. “Which is why I am going to speak to Harold about you going with your sisters.” 

 

“Thank you, Mama.” Jellybean wriggled closer to her. “Poor Little Critter, he’s going to miss all of the desserts I heard Daddy telling him about when you were sleeping.” Jellybean patted her belly. “It’s okay, Little Critter. I bet Daddy will make us ice cream sundaes if we ask him nicely.” 

 

The baby kicked. “I think he likes the idea of that,” she admitted. “It’s certainly made him active.” 

 

“Come say hi to Little Critter, Daddy.” 

  
  



	10. always wanted to live on elm street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The flowers are pretty, aren’t they?” Alice asked her, as she knelt down to Jellybean’s level, pleased when Jellybean stopped her path of destruction and crawled over to her, trampling the peonies in the process. Alice decided that she liked the little girl already. “Does your father know where you are?”

Alice had been awake for approximately two hours and she had already decided that the day was going to be a wash. The cable had gone out when she’d wanted to do her morning exercise routine, and she had forgotten that she had let Fred borrow her DVD player the previous evening, thus eliminating her ability to do her sunrise meditation. Polly had picked the morning to be a giant brat (Alice was frankly glad to have seen her off to school with Ginger Lopez and Melody Valentine), and Elizabeth had been sent to the house next door to retrieve the Andrews boy while she had taken the time to get herself dressed and have a nutritious breakfast before work, not that there had been a sign of either child. At first, she had appreciated the quiet time with the day’s copy of the Register, but the lack of either her daughter or the irritant had become suspicious, especially when she heard the sound of squabbling adults from her open window. 

 

Alice squinted at the headline of the paper --  _ Sheepdogs, Pet or Family Babysitter _ \-- and she felt a headache coming on, as she recalled the previous evening with more detail. Betty had insisted on having a playdate with Archibald and the Jones boy, and Alice hadn’t had the energy to object, so when the call on the scanner had had to have come over, Alice had been at home, serving the children a healthy dinner, unaware that there had been a calamity of untold proportions at the trailer park that the Joneses called home. She had carefully vetted the parents of Elizabeth’s friends, of course, and had reluctantly deemed FP to be an acceptable person for her daughter to be around. He was a veteran, who had served their country honorably, and had managed the impressive feat of living on the Southside of town without a permanent legal record. The same could not have been said about the person he had chosen to marry. Alice had never liked Gladys -- not when they’d been in the gang together, not when she was her mother’s choice as an utterly neglectful babysitter -- and she had forbidden Elizabeth from associating with the woman. 

 

The previous evening’s incident had not been a shock to her. 

 

It had appeared that in the process of getting herself idiotically busted for running drugs to an undercover cop (Alice felt that in a town with ten cops, this was incredibly stupid to do), the knowledge that FP was working at his respectable, legitimate, job, entirely out of town, Gladys had decided that the thing to do was to confess to both Tom Keller  _ and _ Harold (the article was billed as a ‘Register exclusive’) that she had not a clue where Jughead was, and that she had left Jellybean in the care of Hot Dog, the Serpents’ sheepdog. 

 

Alice scowled at the digital clock that was on her range, and she stood up from the table. She didn’t know what had caused Elizabeth’s delay from returning with Archibald, but such behavior was unacceptable. It was bad enough that Elizabeth was from a broken home, she was not going get a reputation as a truant. 

 

Except -- Alice did not want to admit that she had a heart, and she would sue anyone who suggested that she did for slander -- but she had to admit that if she had a heart (and she didn’t), the scene at the foot of her steps would have softened her somewhat. 

 

“What are you doing?” Alice demanded, and her voice caught the attention of the little girl that was toddling around, and not the two juvenile delinquents that were deliberately flouting her carefully planned order and routine. “Elizabeth Cooper, you were supposed to be home ten minutes ago.” Betty pretended to ignore her, and Alice huffed in disapproval. “Where did the two of you obtain this child?” 

 

Archibald (who was always the first to fold at the sight of the specter of Alice Smith) opened his mouth to reply. “Mr. Jones and Jughead and Jellybean had a sleepover at our house last night,” he informed her. “Mom and Mr. Jones are arguing over whether or not she can babysit Jellybean while he’s working, so Betty and I took her out to play.” 

 

“Where is Jughead?” Alice dreaded to ask, and she found herself accepting defeat and resigning herself to the fact that she couldn’t in good conscience leave to bring the children to school and herself to work without interrupting the pointless snipping between Mary and FP and being the sole adult who was capable of any reason. It was a burden, but Alice had resigned herself to this role in life. “Well?” 

 

Jellybean had set her sights on the hideous peonies that Harold had allowed his mother to plant in her front garden, despite the fact that they made Alice wheeze, and she prayed that the little girl would destroy their roots. Still, she forced herself to push such thoughts aside, and approached the little one. 

 

“The flowers are pretty, aren’t they?” Alice asked her, as she knelt down to Jellybean’s level, pleased when Jellybean stopped her path of destruction and crawled over to her, trampling the peonies in the process. Alice decided that she liked the little girl already. “Does your father know where you are?” 

 

“It was really loud Mom,” Betty said. “Juggie asked us to take her.” 

 

“I thought as much,” she sighed. “Come along, Jellybean. It’s time to go see your father.” 

 

“Up,” Jellybean insisted, though she clutched Alice’s hand. “No walk. It’s too tall.” 

 

“Well, all right,” she agreed. “And the flowers?” 

 

“Pwetty flowers,” Jellybean said. “I want.” 

 

Alice knew that she would regret it. But Jellybean had been babysat by a dog. And she had her inhaler with her. 

 

“I’m sure that Fred and Mary have a lovely vase for them,” she agreed. “Come with me, children.”

  
  


***

  
  


“I have something of yours, FP,” Alice announced, and she turned Jellybean in her arms so that the toddler could see her father. “Jellybean here has decided that she wants to be a gardener.” 

 

“Pwetty flowers!” Jellybean contributed to the conversation, and she brandished the peonies at FP, who had crossed the room to the two of them. “Dada, I play outside. I big!”

 

“I thought she was watching cartoons,” FP mumbled, as he took Jellybean into his arms. “I’m sorry, Alice. I didn’t know she’d torn up your garden.” 

 

“Yes, Archibald and Elizabeth took it upon themselves to bring Jellybean outside to play when you and Mary started to argue,” she informed him, as she liberally scrubbed her arms and neck, not wanting to develop alarming levels of hives. “As for the flowers? They make me wheeze and give me welts. I hope she killed them all.” 

 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he said. “Obviously I can’t stay with her, she’s not safe for the kids. Mary said that she doesn’t want me hanging around here, either.” 

 

Alice raised a brow. “Mary said that? She considers removing your children from active neglect is ‘hanging around’? I mean, I agree, you can’t stay here.” She sniffed disdainfully. “I certainly don’t want my morning routine sullied by warring adults.” She sighed. “I suppose I could let you stay with us,” she said. “We have an inlaw apartment. You’d pay rent, of course. The address would let you look decent in the eyes of the judge.” 

 

“I can’t pay rent,” he said. “I’m gonna have to stay at home and watch the kid. Fred thought Mary would take her to work but apparently she’s ‘unprofessional’. I can’t bring her to a construction site, I--”

 

“FP, stop,” Alice insisted. “Take a deep breath. You don’t want to scare Jellybean. As I was saying, or trying to say, I don’t want Jellybean to be forced to spend quality time with someone who views her as an utter imposition, and not what she is, which is a small, harmless, toddler. At the same time, you certainly can’t be bringing her to a construction site. Nor will I allow you to sit at home wallowing in self pity. I have a solution.”

 

“Is it leaving her home alone with a dog?” 

 

“Don’t be foolish. Dogs are not suitable for watching children.” 

 

“Go ahead, Alice,” he shrugged. “What’s your idea?” 

 

“I can bring her to work with me,” she said. “I’m sure that Hal won’t harm the child.”

 

“He, uh, he brought her here,” FP muttered. “Last night. Apparently there was a ‘miscommunication’ and once the cops left with Gladys, my daughter was there with your ex.” 

 

“That is unacceptable,” she sighed. “Not Harold and his shocking ability to attempt to fix errors instead of causing more, the police. How did they not notice that she was still present at a scene of a crime?” She felt a headache coming on. “Jellybean, would you like to come to work with me? We can go to Pop’s for lunch.”   
  


“What are you doing in my house?” Alice’s headache demanded, and she scowled. “FP, what is she doing here?” 

 

“Oh, don’t pin this on FP,” Alice snapped. “I’m here to collect my new tenants,” she hissed. “And my DVD player. And my house key. FP, make sure that you bring that with you when you come over. I expect you in my house when I return from dropping the children off.”

 

Alice crossed the room to smile sweetly at Jellybean. “When I get back from bringing your brother and his friends to school, I’ll bring Elizabeth and Polly’s old toys down for you to play with, okay?” Jellybean smiled back. Alice felt her ego grow. “Come on, Jughead!” She bellowed. “You have three minutes to get down here before my resolve not to lecture others dissipates.” 

 

Jellybean giggled. It was clear that she viewed Alice’s carefully curated persona as something that caused amusement. Alice frowned on this on principle, but for the sake of  _ not _ traumatizing her any further than she’d already been, decided to let this slide. She supposed she didn’t want to scare the poor thing.

 

“Are you sure about this, Al?” 

 

“Oh, why not,” she said. “Surely it’s better than  _ any _ of the other solutions you’ve come up with.” 

 

“I guess,” he sighed. “I’ve always wanted to live on Elm Street.” 

 

“Not here, you aren’t,” Mary interjected. “I told you, you could stay the night until you got over whatever you were mad at Gladys for. Not move in for eternity.” 

 

“I’m not getting over anything,” FP snapped. “She left our daughter in a trailer alone while I was providing for our family and  _ she _ got caught in a sting by Tom Keller. As if she doesn’t know who that is.” 

 

“FP!” Alice hissed. “The children.”   
  


“It’s okay,” Betty said. “We already know. We heard them talking about it earlier.” 

 

Alice scowled at Mary, who was mercifully spared her lecture by Jughead’s appearance. 

 

“Come along,” she said. “Hopefully you’ll all be on time for school.” 

 

“Can I say bye to Jellybean?” Jughead eyed her warily. 

 

“Of course you can,” she said. “She’s your baby sister.” 


	11. nine more stickers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He called it Little Critter’s due date, but I don’t get that. He’s a baby, not a library book.”

“Look at my calendar, Mama,” Jellybean said excitedly, as she waved said calendar in Alice’s face. “Nine more stickers until the bestest day ever.” 

 

“What’s the bestest day ever?” Alice asked, as she adjusted the fan so that it was on her increasingly pregnant body. She was beyond exhausted and miserable, and she wanted the baby out ASAP. Her doctor’s appointment early that day had only served to aggravate her, given the fact that she was approximately zero centimeters dilated, and in fact Little Critter seemed quite content to stay inside of her. Which Alice would have been fine with if it wasn’t a heat wave. “Come sit with me, baby,” she added. “Your brother’s up.” 

 

“Little Critter’s birthday,” she explained to her, as if she thought Alice was asking a most ridiculous question. She climbed up onto the couch and placed her hand on Alice’s belly, which seemed to grow bigger by the day. “Hi, Little Critter,” Jellybean cooed. “Mama and Daddy let me come with them to see you today--oh, Mama, he kicked!”

 

“Yeah, honey, I know he did,” Alice informed her, as Jellybean made herself comfortable beside her, her attention fixated on her abdomen. “What do you mean, his birthday, though?”

 

“Daddy says it’s not  _ called _ a birthday,” Jellybean recalled. “He called it Little Critter’s due date, but I don’t get that. He’s a baby, not a library book.” 

 

“Honey, he might not be born on his due date. He could come any day now.” She shifted on the couch. “Truthfully? I think you’re going to have more than nine more stickers for your calendar. He seems very comfortable in me.” 

 

“Is he okay?” Jellybean’s tone was fretful. “Is being comfyable in you okay?” 

 

“Yes, sweetie, he’s fine. Remember how we saw him today? And we got to listen to his heart beat?”   
  


Jellybean nodded eagerly, and she watched as she pressed a kiss to her bump. Their little girl had really come around to her little brother over the course of the pregnancy, and Alice couldn’t have been more grateful. She had understood why Jellybean hadn’t been enthused about the little one at first. She had felt that she was being replaced. This wasn’t true, of course, but she didn’t blame Jellybean for feeling that way. 

 

“He’s big,” she said. “Does her hurts you when he kicks me?”

 

“No, Jelly, I’m fine. I’m just very hot.” 

 

“We should go in my pool,” she told her. “And Daddy can come when he comes home with Betty and Polly.” 

 

Alice wanted to protest. She felt like a two ton whale. But they were in the middle of a heatwave and changing into a swimsuit and going into the pool with Jelly did sound rather nice. The water always made her feel better, and it managed to often calm down the baby. And doing things with Jellybelly made her happy.

 

“Yeah, let’s do that,” she said. “You want me to help you hang up your calendar again?” 

 

“Will you help me, Mama?” Jellybean nodded. “I love you, Mama, so super much.” 

 

“I love you, too.” 

 

Jellybean took her by the hand as they walked back to her room, and she clutched the calendar in the other. “Will you tell me when you think it’s time for Little Critter to come?” 

 

“Babies are pretty good at making that clear,” she told her. “Yes, Jelly. I will.”

 

“How do they tell you?” 

 

Alice didn’t want to alarm Jellybean by explaining to her what contractions were (Jellybean was already convinced she was in extreme amounts of pain if she breathed loudly, she didn’t dare tell her that giving birth to Little Critter was going to hurt), but she didn’t want to lie to her and make up some rumor about the stork. Jellybean was smart, Alice knew this. 

 

“He does a new trick,” she settled on. “When that trick happens, and everyone who is there when it happens will know that it’s happened, it’s time for me to go to the hospital and have him.” 

 

“I hope that I can see the trick, Mama,” Jellybean chirped. “I would love to be able to tell him how cool it is.”

 

“We’ll see, okay, darling?” 

 

“Okay!” 

 

Jellybean’s bed looked tempting to Alice, and she wondered if she could convince her she wanted a nap. The pool did sound nice but she could go in it later. At the moment she was exhausted.

 

“Can we nap for a little, baby?” 

 

“Yes. Daddy said you needed to take one,” 


	12. little critter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’ll see what the gift shop has for stuffed animals, okay, Jellybelly? But I think we can definitely get Mama the flowers.”

“Is Mama okay?” Jellybean questioned as she pressed her hands against the pane of glass that separated her from the room with all of the babies in it, in awe about the fact that Little Critter was in there. “Why come Betty and Polly get to see her first?” 

 

“Because they’re gonna spend the night with their dad,” FP said softly, as he joined Jellybean at the window. “You get to spend the night with me. You see the baby right there?” He pointed at the baby in the bassinet, that was being taken out of the room by the nurse. “That’s your brother.” 

 

“Where’s he going?” 

 

“Gonna go meet your sisters,” he told her. “After he meets them, we’re gonna go in so he can meet you.” He ruffled her hair. “To answer your question, Jelly, Mama is fine. A little tired and sore, but nothing a visit from you can’t fix.” 

 

“Where’s Juggie?” Jellybean questioned.

 

“He’s already been by,” he told her. “He’s with Archie and Fred at the site.” 

 

“I want to buy Mama a present,” she said after a moment. “While we’re waiting to see her and Little Critter.” 

 

“We can do that, Princess.” He scooped her up and into his arms. “What did you have in mind?” 

 

Jellybean scrunched up her nose in concentration. “Pretty flowers that don’t make her itch,” she settled on. “Can we get Little Critter an oinker?” 

 

“We’ll see what the gift shop has for stuffed animals, okay, Jellybelly? But I think we can definitely get Mama the flowers.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “How was your sleepover?” 

 

“Uncle Hal stayed the entire night,” she informed him, her gaze unblinking. “Even though I told him that Hot Doggy could babysit.” 

 

Jellybean had insisted that the dog he and Alice had gotten for the family be named Hot Dog, despite his best efforts to convince her that the dog could have its own name. Jellybean hadn’t approved of such logic. So. Hot Dog it was. 

 

“Yeah, I don’t think Uncle Hal wanted to let Hot Dog babysit,” he echoed. “What did you have for dinner?” 

 

“Pizza!” Jellybean’s eyes lit up at the memory. “I had  _ four _ pieces, Daddy.” 

 

In the end, Alice, FP, and Hal had come to the reluctant agreement that it would be in everyone’s best interest for the other man to come to the house when Alice went into labor to watch Jellybean and his daughters, mainly because even Hal could notice Jellybean’s utter discomfort at the thought of staying at someone else’s house overnight, even with the promise of being with her stepsisters. It was all Gladys’s fault. If Jellybean was happy, Alice was happy, and she could focus on having the baby without worrying about the little girl. It wasn’t ideal, but it had worked. 

 

“Four pieces, huh?” She nodded. “You’re getting big, Jells.”

 

“I’m a big sister,” she reminded him, the excitement at that fact clearly evident in her eyes. “Mama no hurty no more?” 

 

“She’s feeling better now, Jells,” he assured her. “That was only because Little Critter wanted to come.”   
  


“I know,” she breathed. “She telled me. I thought he would  _ never _ come. He was super late.” 

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, baby, I know you thought that he’d be here on his due date.” 

 

“Don’t be sorry,” she chirped. “He’s here now. Mama said I could hold him.” 

 

“Yeah, you can hold him,” FP agreed. “What flowers do you think Mama would like?” Jellybean pointed at a bouquet of roses, and he smiled down at her, kissing the top of her head. “Why don’t you pick out a stuffed animal for your brother?” 

 

“I want  _ that _ one, Daddy,” Jellybean insisted, and she pointed at a giant stuffed pig, that FP suspected was geared towards sick children, and not towards newborn babies. He didn’t have the energy to set a tantrum in motion, and he sighed. “It’s a  _ big _ oinker! And there’s two. A pink one and a blue one.” 

 

“You want...you want you and Little Critter to have a matching oinker?” 

 

Jellybean nodded. He bit back a groan. “Please, Daddy?” 

 

“Well, all right,” he settled on. “Since you’ve been such a patient girl while we’ve been waiting for him.” 

 

“And cause he deserves a present for his birthday.” Jellybean’s tone was insistent. “And cake.” 

 

“He’s too little for cake, angel,” he said. “We can have cake though, if you want. Mama and Little Critter should be coming home today.” 

 

Alice had insisted that she wanted to be home with their children, and as she had been cleared medically, as had the baby, it seemed a likely possibility. It seemed likely that it was going to be just Jellybean and the baby for the first night, as Fred had agreed to keep Jughead for another day, and of course, Polly and Betty were going with their dad. He was okay with that. Jellybean was a good girl. Alice had wanted her to be home with her.

 

“I see him here first?” Jellybean demanded. “And Mama?” 

 

“Yeah, we’re gonna see them now, after I pay for these,” he said. “They’re looking forward to seeing you.” 

 

***

 

“I see Mama first,” Jellybean directed. “Please, Daddy?” 

 

“Of course,” he told her. “It looks like your brother is sleeping in the bassinet,” he explained. “But, even if he’s awake, I’ll hold him while you get to cuddle with Mama for a little bit, okay?” 

 

Jellybean nodded. She thought that that made sense. Especially since she got to cuddle with Mama. 

 

“You want to give her the flowers, Bellybean?” Daddy asked, and Jellybean nodded. It wasn’t fair to make him carry the flowers  _ and _ the two stuffed oinkers. She still couldn’t believe her good luck in that department. She hoped that her baby brother liked his. If not, Jelly knew she’d have a good home for it. “Here you go, Princess.” She clutched the flowers carefully in her arms. “Babe, look who I found in the waiting room.”

 

“Is that my Jellybelly?” She heard her say, and Jellybean nodded, cautiously approaching the bed that she was sitting on. The baby looked like he  _ was _ sleeping, which she was fine with. She would have been sad if the baby had needed his mom and she had taken Alice from him. “What have you got there?” 

 

“Daddy let me getted you pretty flowers, Mama,” she informed her. “He said Little Critter and you get to come home today. I come up?” 

 

“Daddy’s right,” she told her. “Do you need him to help you climb up here? The flowers are beautiful, Bean.” 

 

Jellybean was a big sister now, which meant that she was a big girl, and she climbed up to join Alice in the bed, handing her the flowers. “You feeling better?” 

 

“Yeah, baby, I’m feeling better,” she confirmed. “Want to cuddle with me? It’s okay, it won’t hurt me.” 

 

“I cuddle with you,” she agreed, unable to resist curling up beside her mama, despite the fact that she was somewhat nervous about being in the hospital room, and was definitely afraid of hurting her like Little Critter had hurt her the day before, even though she knew that that was just because he wanted to come out. She was a bit offended that the baby had picked when she was cuddling with Mama to decide that. “Does he like me?” 

 

“The baby?” Mama asked. She nodded. “Yeah, of course he likes you, sweetie. You’re his big sister.”

 

“He made us stop cuddling yesterday,” she whispered. “I wasn’t sure.” 

 

“I’m sorry that happened, sweetie,” Mama told her, and she felt her press a kiss against the top of her head. “He was...very determined to come out. Otherwise I would have cuddled for a bit more. I think he wanted to meet you.” 

 

“You do?” Jellybean gazed up at her. “Why?” 

 

“You were certainly paying him a fair bit of attention, Jelly, he wanted to meet his big sister that loves him so much.” 

 

Jellybean  _ did _ love Little Critter. She wanted him to love her back. As much as she wanted to protest, those facts were true. “I gotted him a present, Mama,” she informed her. “Daddy and I saw them where we gotted your flowers.” 

 

“What did you get him?” 

 

“The  _ biggest _ stuffed oinker ever,” she gushed, and she pointed to the two oinkers that her dad was holding. “I asked Daddy to gotted me the pink one, and the blue one for Little Critter. What’s his name, Mama? Can I hold him?” 

 

“Of course you can hold him,” Mama told her. “Those are certainly big, sweetie. His name is Christopher,” she added. “You can still call him Little Critter though, if you want.” 

 

“Daddy thought they were big too,” she happily informed her. “I want to hold him.” She gazed at her dad expectantly. She didn’t want Mama to leave her side. “Will you gets him for me, Daddy?” 

 

“Of course, Jellybelly.” 

 

Jellybean watched as he placed the oinkers in one of the chairs and crossed the room to where the baby was, still wary of meeting Little Critter in the flesh but unable to stop herself from being curious. The baby was bigger than she’d expected, even when he was held in their daddy’s arms. Still. He was a baby. And Jellybean had never held a baby before that wasn’t a doll. 

 

“Can you help me?” 

 

“Course I can, Jells,” Daddy said, and he carefully placed Little Critter in her arms, and sat on the edge of the bed. “This is your big sister buddy. This is Jellybean.”

 

“Hi, Little Critter,” she whispered. “He’s so big. He’s big, right?”

 

“Over ten pounds.” 


	13. big sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi, Little Critter. I’m so glad you’re finally here.”

“Jelly, do you want to help me feed the baby?” Alice asked the little girl, who was coloring in the living room. “What are you drawing, baby?”

 

“A kitten,” she informed her. “Uncle Hal bought me a coloring book,” she sighed. “I wish it was an oinkers one but I didn’t tell him that.” 

 

“Yes, well, Harold tries,” she said. “I was thinking that you could give your brother a bottle, if you wanted.” 

 

“All on my own?” Jellybean’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “I want you to be there, Mama.”

 

“No, baby, I will be there,” she assured her. “Your dad and I just thought maybe you would like to help out with him a little bit. But, if you’d rather color, that’s all right.” 

 

“I want to help you. Daddy said I could.” 

 

“Yes, Daddy and I, we want you to help us with the baby,” Alice told her. “Only if you want to, though. Your brother loves you very much.” 

 

“I love him too,” Jellybean chirped, and she slipped her hand in hers. “Where  _ is _ Little Critter? He’s not downstairs?”   
  


“No, sweetie, he’s upstairs, with your dad, in our room. They were napping together.” 

 

“You didn’t nap?” 

 

Alice shook her head. “No, baby, I’m not tired. I wanted to spend some time with my girl.” 

 

Alice knew that Jellybean had had a rough time being away from her and FP, and she was determined to make it up to her, even though Jellybean had spent the entire car ride home in the back trying to dote on her little brother, who had decided that the car was a good place to nap. She had attempted to convince Jelly that they could play together, but the almost-kindergartener had banished her to the couch, claiming she needed to rest. So Alice had dozed, one eye on her Jellybelly. 

 

“We should nap together,” Jellybean told her. “After Little Critter has his bottle.” 

 

“Okay, Jelly.” 

 

Jellybean had insisted on being the one to carry the bottle upstairs, and Alice allowed her to lead her by the hand in the direction of her and FP’s bedroom, where, as she’d promised her, FP was sat on their bed, the baby cradled in his arms. Jellybean’s eyes lit up when she saw the two of them, and she followed her as she entered the room. 

 

“Hey, Jellybean,” FP said, his tone soft. “What are you up to?” 

 

“Mama said I could give Little Critter a bottle,” she informed him, and Alice nodded in agreement. “Is he awoke?” 

 

“Yeah, sweetheart, he is. I think he’s hungry, too. Why don’t you and Mama come join us in bed, and Mama and I will show you how to feed him?” 

 

Jellybean’s eyes lit up, and she scrambled on the bed, mercifully having handed Alice the bottle beforehand. Alice took her time getting into bed, mindful of the fact that she had had a ten and a half pound baby the day before. Christopher was snuggly in FP’s arms, wide awake, and he had commandeered Jellybean’s full attention. Clad solely in a onesie due to the heat, the little boy had clearly stolen his big sister’s heart, as he reached his arm out and clasped Jellybean’s finger in his fist. 

 

“What’s he doing?” Her tone was awed, and the look she gave the baby was a besotted one. “He’s holding my hand.”

 

“He likes you, Jelly,” FP told her. “Babies do that when they’re around people they feel safe with. He must feel safe with you.” 

 

“I love him,” she declared. “Hi, Little Critter. I’m so glad you’re finally here.” 

 

So was Alice. The baby had been nearly two weeks late. She had been scheduled for an induction for the next day. 

 

“He was worth the wait, though, wasn’t he, Jelly?” She pressed a kiss to the little girl’s head. “Thank you for being such a good girl yesterday. I’m very proud of you.”

 

“I am, too, baby girl,” FP murmured. “I know you didn’t like being apart from us. I’m sorry.” 

 

“Mama was having Little Critter,’ Jellybean said. “It’s okay. He’s my baby brother.” 

 

“You want to hold him?” She nodded. “You’re a good big sister, Jells.” 

 

“I want to be like Betty and Polly,” she told them. “They’re the bestest big sissies ever. And like Juggie, too, even though he’s a brother and not a sister.” 

 

“You can still want to be like him,” he said, as he settled the baby in her arms, and quirked a grin in Alice’s direction. “Why don’t we try to see if he’s hungry?”

 

“He’s a Jones,” Jelly giggled. “We’re always hungry.” 


	14. muffin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hospital! Now!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aliceslamp requested that I do prompt 4 from imaginemultifandoms pregnancy prompts. Here is the result. I hope you enjoy it.

“Is the ice cream helping?” FP asked Alice, his eyes soft, and his hand warm against her thigh. “I know that it seems that nothing is working to get the baby out, honey, but I swear to you, tonight I will pleasure you until she takes the hint.” 

Alice’s due date had come and gone with no sign of their little Muffin, though their baby had been deemed hearty and hale at every appointment they’d had. It appeared that their daughter was stubborn. 

Alice had been at 4 centimeters dilated for weeks, and the doctor had irritated the living hell out of her at her last appointment by expressing his shock that she was still ‘with child’. She had practically thrown a shoe at him. She would have if FP hadn’t been there. Or if she’d had the strength to do so. Instead, she waddled out of the appointment in tears, and FP had only managed to stem the flow of her emotions by promising her an ice cream on the way home. 

“A little bit,” she whispered, and she reached out to squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t been very pleasant lately. The kids are probably terrified of me.” 

“They’re not terrified of you, babe,” he said. “Maybe of your hormones.” 

Alice forced a laugh, and she took another bite of the ice cream, and shifted herself in an attempt to find a comfortable position. Lately? None of them were. She blamed the ten pound baby that she was carrying. It felt like a bowling ball was between her legs. The baby was head down, and she had even dropped, but she seemed incapable of that final step. 

“Do you mind if I have another ice cream?” 

“No, babe, you have as many as you want,” he said. “Same kind?” 

Alice thought about it, and shook her head. “Muffin wants Mama to have strawberry.” 

“Okay, babe,” he said, and he slid his cup over to her. “Why don’t you finish mine while you’re waiting? It looks like there’s quite a line.”

Alice frowned at the line that had grown at the counter at Pop’s, and she bit back a sigh, the ache in her lower back growing. The pain had been mild to start and had only grown in intensity throughout the day. “Will you rub my back when we get home?” 

“Yeah, Al, I’ll rub your back,” he promised. “I’ll do it right here in the booth when I get back with your ice cream.” 

“That would be lovely,” she said. “Hurry back?” 

He pressed a kiss to her lips, before he sprawled out on the booth beside her to direct his ministrations to her bump. Alice was roughly as big as a barn, but FP still doted on her and their daughter as if they were the most precious things in the world. She had to admit to finding it sweet. 

“You be good to Mama, you hear me, Muffin? You’ve been giving her a lot of trouble lately as you try to figure your way out to the world, and I get it, but be good while I’m in line getting us food.” She smiled as he pressed a kiss to her belly. “Okay, babe. I’ll be back.”

“Yes, be good to me, Muffin,” Alice echoed half heartedly. “Your induction is scheduled in three days, do try to come out before then.” She didn’t expect the baby to listen. Muffin had a mind of her own.

The booth that she had dragged herself and FP over to was out of the prying eyes of everyone (mainly so that Alice didn’t offend everyone who dared say hello to her -- she was aware that her behavior of late was questionable), which had been fine with Alice when they were sitting together, but now that he had gone to get Muffin her ice cream, she wasn’t sure. There had been people sitting in their general vicinity, but they had either been scared off by her or they had finished their meals. Great for them. Less great, however, for Alice, who was realizing that what she had thought was a backache was wrapping around her middle, and was clearly a contraction. She gritted her teeth, and exhaled loudly, her hands instinctively gripping the edge of the bench she sat on as she leaned her belly into the table, the counterpressure doing little to relieve her sudden pain.

In the distance, she could see FP glance over at her, and she managed to wave weakly at him, in time for the contraction to end. Alice had had contractions before, had thought herself to be in active labor several embarrassing times, and was not going to fall victim for Muffin’s tricks again. Not when there was ice cream on the line.

“What are you doing?” She demanded of her bump, as she ran her hands back and forth over it. “I thought Daddy asked you to be good to me?” Satisfied that the baby would listen, she took a bite of FP’s ice cream, and swallowed. “There,” she whispered soothingly. “Was that so hard?” 

She had barely gotten the words out when another wave of pain washed over her, and she leaned into the table, her mind whirling frantically as she processed that her contractions had barely been minutes apart. She let out a quiet moan as she pulled out her phone to time them, and tried to focus on maintaining her breathing and appearing as if everything was normal. Everyone knew who she and FP were, after all. It would do no good for the riff raff of Riverdale to realize that she was in labor. If she was in labor. Alice wasn’t willing to discount the possibility of Muffin joining her other siblings in treading on her last, very frayed, nerve. 

When the contraction ended, she laid her head on the table, having decided that she could just pretend to sleep until FP got back, at which point she would insist that they headed home so she could shower, and figure out what the fuck was going on with her. There was no way that she was in labor, not after that pointless doctor’s appointment she had, where there had been another week of no changes. 

“Oh God…” Alice wanted to scream when she was slammed with a contraction that was ten times more painful than all of the others, but she settled for digging her nails into her palms, and her abdomen was pressed against the table with all of her might. “What the fuck?” 

The contraction ended abruptly as it began, and she slowly sat up, having decided that there was going to be a baby coming either way, whether the contractions continued or not, and she grabbed her purse from the booth beside her and slowly waddled over to where FP stood, only three -- Alice counted -- people from the front. She really wanted Muffin’s ice cream, and she made the executive decision to simply take FP’s hand in hers, and wait. 

“We’re getting my ice cream, and then we’re going home,” she whispered into his ear, as she squeezed his hand tightly. “And getting my ice cream is becoming really debatable.” She winced as another contraction hit her. “I think I’m having the baby.”

“What? Al, are you sure?” She nodded. “Muffin wants to come? She wants to meet us?” 

“I think so,” she said. “I mean. My contractions are like one on top of the other. And they don’t feel like false labor.” 

She shifted uncomfortably as the person in front of them got their order, and allowed her desire for ice cream to win out over the practical side of her that was screaming that she could have ice cream later and just have the baby now. Alice prided on forcing others to be practical, she was not going to practice what she preached. 

Even if that meant that she found herself doubled over the counter at Pop’s, making her laboring state evidenced to all. She was fairly certain that Pop had given FP her ice cream for free. She was definitely certain that the Lodge girl and Archibald were staring at her. She vowed to end them (when she was able to stand upright again without wanting to cry). The contraction over, she adjusted herself, her face a fiery red, and her underwear felt the slightest bit damp. 

“Oh fuck,” she heard herself say. 

“Al, what’s wrong?” 

Alice almost admitted out loud that she was certain that her water had started to leak and she was not going to deal with it breaking in front of everyone at Pop’s, but she smiled gamely at him, brought her knees together, and made her best attempt at a scramble to the exit. 

“We have to go.”

“I see that,” FP said, and she felt him press his hands to her back as she leaned against the side of his pickup truck, the coolness of the metal distracting her somewhat from her intense pain. “You want to go home?” 

Alice felt a gush of wetness from between her legs, and she shook her head. “Hospital! Now!”

“What about your bag?” 

“You don’t understand,” she said. “Things are happening inside of me. My contractions are 2 minutes apart, and this is my fourth child. With Betty I was only in labor for six hours.” She panted loudly as she felt another contraction crest, holding onto his hands for dear life. “My water just broke. We. Need. To. Go.” 

“Now?”

“Yes, now,” she growled. “Unless you want to have this baby in the bed of your truck, we need to leave now. And I’m not sure that I’ll make it.”

Alice felt she was being slightly dramatic. It had the desired effect on her fiance however, who helped her up into the truck and handed her her ice cream, before he sped off in the direction of Riverdale General. 

“Fuck, Al, keep the baby in,” he said. “I don’t want you to be the breaking news story.”


	15. happy father's day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muffin's first father's day.

“Happy Father’s Day, Daddy,” Alice purred as she entered FP’s office, their infant snuggly held in her arms. 

 

It was a shame that FP had had to work on Father’s Day, she thought to herself, even though little Muffin was entirely too young to understand the significance of the holiday, and Jellybean and Jughead were entirely too grateful that she had conceded that Father’s Day celebrations could commence after FP had come home from work and slept. His shift ended at 7 am, and, well, Alice had afforded the children a kindness. 

 

Just because she and Muffin were wide awake at the early hour, didn’t mean that they needed to be. Indeed, Alice ranked the chances of Muffin returning to sleep more highly if the other children weren’t awake to key her up. 

 

So she’d bundled the little girl into her car seat and headed off in the direction of the Sheriff’s station to catch FP at the end of his shift. 

 

“What are you doing here?” FP asked. “Thought we’d celebrate later?”

 

She nodded, a tired smile blooming on her lips. “Muffin wanted to see you. She wasn’t happy when she woke up for her feed and found your side of the bed empty.” She crossed the room to give him a kiss. “I wanted to see you, too,” she whispered. 

 

“I’m glad the two of you came,” he said, once he pulled away from her lips. “You want to head to Pop’s?  Maybe? So we can eat and you don’t have to cook?” He reached out for the baby. “Hi little girl,” he cooed. “Come to see where Daddy works?” 

 

Muffin cooed loudly in response. He grinned. “What do you say, Muffin? Want to go to Pop’s and relish in being the center of attention?” 

 

“I don’t mind cooking for you,” she protested. “It’s Father’s Day…”   
  


“I know, babe. You can cook for me later. Right now? I want a big breakfast for me and two of my girls, before I crawl into our bed and try to convince the little one she needs to go back to sleep.”

 

“Good luck with that,” she scoffed. “Though it’s worth a shot, honestly. She might sleep for you.” 

 

Muffin babbled loudly in response. Alice didn’t know if she was agreeing or disagreeing. She didn’t really care. It was sweet seeing the two of them interact. She loved them so much.

 

“I never thought...she’s so amazing,” FP said. “She’s...I love her, Al.”

 

Alice nodded. “I know, Jonesy. She loves you too. As do I.” 

 

“This is one of the best Father’s days I’ve had in a long time.” 


	16. “The petting zoo is closed, Hal, now stop touching me. Do I make myself clear?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, you lout, I don’t want you to feel the baby,” she clarified. “No asking, no touching, no breathing the same air as me unless it is unavoidable, do I make myself clear? You may feel once, Harold. I am allowing you to feel once.”

Harold was treading on Alice’s absolute last nerve. How was it that in an office that contained obnoxious underlings and interns, along with FP’s five year old daughter, it was her ex-husband that was the one that was constantly underfoot? Harold had  _ never _ been this attentive to her when she was pregnant with Margaret or Elizabeth (Alice didn’t even dare think of how he had treated her while she was pregnant with Charles), and now that she was pregnant with FP’s child, she was meant to be hovered over? 

 

_ Jellybean  _ paid less attention to her and the baby, and she was a small child, who was going to be a big sister for the first time. 

 

“Is there something you  _ need _ from me, Harold?” Alice hoped her exhaustion was evident in her tone, or, if not, her non-amusement. “Is there a reason that you are up my ass?” 

 

“You let Fred feel the baby earlier!”    
  


She arched a brow. “Frederick paid me in cash for his advertisements this month,” she said. “I rewarded his good behavior.” 

 

“I bought Jellybean a coloring book!”

 

“Oh, please, Harold,” Alice said. “You bought Jellybean that coloring book because you want her to stay locked away in my office not making a sound the entire time she’s in here. She might think that you’re doing that to be polite, but I know you, Harold.” 

 

“Okay, that might be true,” he said, and she let out a quiet sigh. “Okay, fine, it  _ is _ true. But, Alice. Kids are so obnoxious when they don’t have the proper breeding. I just want to try to undo the damage that her poor excuse for a  _ mother _ caused when she was neglecting her--”

 

“Right, because a coloring book is really the cure for child neglect, Hal. I don’t understand what you want from me,” she informed him. “You didn’t want to be married to me so you ran off with  _ Hermione Lodge _ of all people -- I don’t even want to tell you how angry Fred was about that, by the way -- and I allowed you to have a  _ less _ punitive divorce than the state entitled me to, and the thanks I get is you deciding I am the human equivalent to an aquarium touch tank, or a creature at a petting zoo! You didn’t even  _ acknowledge _ me when I told you that Polly or Betty was kicking, and now that I’ve moved on and there’s  _ physical  _ proof of that, you’ve decided that you want to adopt some faux caring persona?”

 

Alice paused for breath. Hal gaped. 

 

“Al--”

 

“Everyone can tell, you moron,” she said. “At first I thought I was  _ imagining _ scenes from my recurring nightmares, but several independent sources have asked me if you are feeling okay? There’s been talk of you having potentially hit your head, Hal, and I almost  _ wish _ that a concussion was the explanation for this.” 

 

“So you  _ don’t _ want me to ask if I can feel the baby?” 

 

“No, you lout, I don’t want you to  _ feel _ the baby,” she clarified. “No asking, no touching, no breathing the same air as me unless it is unavoidable, do I make myself clear? You may feel once, Harold. I am allowing you to feel once.” 

 

Hating herself all the while, Alice took Harold’s hand in hers, and pressed it briefly against her abdomen. Little Critter kicked in protest. 

 

“There,” she hissed. “Are you happy?” 

 

“That’s it?”   
  


“The petting zoo is closed, Hal, now stop touching me. Do I make myself clear?”

 

Hal gulped. Alice smirked. “I thought so,” she said. 

 

“Mama?” 

 

“In a second, sweetie,” Alice cooed, motioning for Jellybean to close the door. “What the hell are you looking at me like that for?” 

 

“You let her call you Mama? Why? She’s not yours.” 

 

“Not everyone is incapable of loving children that aren’t theirs biologically,” she hissed, eyes narrowed into slits. “But as much as I would  _ love _ to detail my list of grievances about you from the beginning? I have my daughter to tend to. I think we’ll be leaving early, actually. Do try to remember who owns this paper?”   
  


“That’s just a technicality, Alice--”

 

“That’s not what the divorce decree states,” she said, her gaze innocent. “What a shame it would be if your parents found out you lost your paper to dirty blood? What would they say?” 

 

“You wouldn’t--”   
  


“Oh?” 

 

“Alice!”

 

“I just think you should think through your choices, Hal,” she said. “Life is much nicer when you do. For everyone.” 

 

With that, she stalked off in the direction of her office, entirely done with every aspect of the Register for the day. Possibly for the week. Jellybean had gotten one of her furs out of her closet and had burrowed herself in it, her stuffed pig clutched to her chest. She’d managed to seat herself, coat and all, securely on Alice’s office chair. 

 

“Hi, sweetie,” Alice cooed. “Did you want to feel your brother?”

 

“You said the petting zoo was closed,” Jellybean said after a moment. “And to stop touching you. You didn’t mean me, too?” 

 

“Sweetie,” she said, and she crossed the room to her. “I was talking to Harold, not you. I don’t want you to stop feeling your baby brother. Okay?” 

 

“What about the petting zoo? Did it close because I wanted an oinker for keeps?” 

 

A hint of a smile graced her lips. “No, honey, the petting zoo is still open. But we can’t tell Hal, okay? He’d be jealous that we’re still allowed to go. We don’t want to be rude to him.” 

 

“Okay, Mama.”

 

“I was thinking that we could go out to Pop’s for some lunch, okay? Would you like that?” 

 

Jellybean nodded. “I want chicken fingers.”

 

“Can I tell you a secret? So do I. With a milkshake. And fries.” 

 

“Does Little Critter make you want that?” 

 

“Little Critter, your dad,” she said, and she shrugged. “Some combination of the two, I’m sure.”

 

Jellybean giggled. “Let’s go, Mama. Can we go now?”


	17. a reason to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FP doesn't know why he should stick with being the Sheriff. Alice has a good reason, though.

FP had come to the conclusion that being the Sheriff was wearing incredibly thin. He had been hoping that he would have been replaced as an ‘unfortunate’ side affect to the Lodges being investigated by the FBI, but unfortunately for him his previous experience as a combat war veteran and the fact that he had managed a couple of years as a cop for the town before Gladys had managed to fuck  _ that _ up for him meant that, for lack of a better option, he would do. It wasn’t that bad a gig, he supposed. It let him put food on the table and kept the lights on, and it stopped him from falling into a drunken stupor. That didn’t mean that he particularly enjoyed pretending that he cared about doing things by the book, or caring about the letter of the law. 

 

Sheriff was a decent job. It meant that the boy could tell his prep-school classmates that his father was a sheriff and not some washed out loser whose claim to fame was a shitty bar (that no longer existed) and a trailer (that the boy and his girl had burned down after his idiot of an ex-wife turned it into a drug lab) who was dating his girlfriend’s mother. FP supposed that was a bit of an awkward fact. 

 

He’d decided he could stick it out for one more year. 

 

“Hey,” he said to Alice, when he entered the house and saw her in the kitchen, in the middle of making dinner. “You don’t have to do that. I was going to.” 

 

“You were going to order a pizza,” she said, though the grin on her face meant she wasn’t angry about it. He nodded. “It’s okay, Jonesy. We have plenty of time for pizza. It’s just going to be the two of us, tonight, and I wanted to make it special for you.”

 

“Just the two of us, eh?” He waggled his brows at the thought of getting some alone time. “What about JB?”

 

“I said she could spend the evening at a friend’s,” Alice said. “She will be back tomorrow morning. I informed her that this was a special, one time, exception, to the no sleepovers on weekdays rule.” 

 

“What about Betty?” 

 

“Elizabeth? She’s spending the evening next door. Mary has taken the onerous burden of hosting a...slumber party. It appears the Lodge girl has been living in that penthouse alone and thought nothing of not mentioning it.” Alice sighed. “Better her than me.” 

 

She crossed the room and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you,” she whispered. “How was work?”   
  


FP let out a groan. “It feels unnatural,” he told her. “Being on this side of the law. Having the damn blessing of the FBI.” He shook his head. “I know that I need to stick it out as long as the boy is at that  _ damn _ prep school, but what reason do I have beyond that?” 

 

It was mainly a rhetorical question. FP didn’t expect Alice to have an answer. 

 

“I can think of a reason,” she said. “You’re gonna be a dad.” Her gaze dropped to the ground as the words hit his ears, and he took her hands in hers, and squeezed them gently. “I mean. I don’t care what you do. Where you work. But, I’m pregnant.” 

 

“You are?” 

 

FP cupped her chin in his hands, and he forced her to look him in the eyes, instead of making eye contact with the floor. He had a feeling that announcing her pregnancies to her significant others was never something Alice had had positive results with. But he wasn’t Hal. He wanted her to be pregnant. Not that they were officially trying. They hadn’t been. They just hadn’t really cared much about using birth control. 

 

She nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I am. That’s why I wanted to have the meal together, just the two of us. So I could tell you.” 

 

“Wow,” he said, and he pulled her into a hug. “Wow, Al. A baby?” 

 

She nodded against his chest. “Uh huh, a baby.” She sighed. “What do you think, Jonesy?” 

 

He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t care what I have to do,” he said. “I want you, and the baby, to be happy. To be provided for.”

 

“You’re not mad?” 

 

“No, Al, I’m not mad at you,” he said. “I’m not mad at you because there’s a baby.” 

 

“You promise?”

 

“Yeah, I promise,” he said, and he released her from the hug. He didn’t think it was entirely possible to crush the baby, but he hadn’t been the most involved during either of Gladys’s pregnancies, and he really wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to hurt her. “I knew that there was a possibility,” he told her. “We weren’t using protection, and we ain’t that old.” He grinned at her. “Think it’s kinda badass.” 

 

All the thoughts he’d had of saying fuck it to the position had fallen away when she’d told him that she was pregnant. FP loved Alice, and he loved the baby already, and he didn’t want either of them to do without. Certainly not because he missed wearing a leather jacket. 

 

He carefully placed his hand on Alice’s middle. There was nothing there, which disappointed him somewhat, but he understood that to be because the baby likely wasn’t very big. Still. He wanted to get started doing right by them early. 

 

“You’re cute,” she said, and she smiled up at him. “I’m sorry. I had this all planned out. I was going to tell you over dinner, and--”

 

“You think I won’t want to eat your cooking because I already know?” FP licked his lips. “Babe. I’ll eat your food every damn day.” He gave her another kiss. “Why don’t I get changed out of this hideous uniform and we can eat dinner on the couch? I’ll rub your feet after.”

 

“I’ve never eaten dinner on the couch,” she said, her tone dubious. “Well, okay. You go get changed and I’ll finish cooking. By the time you come down it should be done. Are you really happy, FP?”

 

“Yeah, Alice. Happiest I’ve been in awhile.” 


	18. home for christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FP surprises Alice and baby Charlie.

The ancient tape deck that Alice had scavenged from the dumpster behind Riverdale High was playing a staticity version of the Christmas music station that she knew the Northsiders’ listened to, and there was a (clearly) artificial tree in the corner of the double wide that she shared with FP and Charles, the fakeness of the spruce evident despite her best efforts. She supposed that her best efforts didn’t matter. FP still wasn’t home from basic training, and Charlie was a baby. He didn’t know that there was a holiday coming up. She was certain that he barely knew that he was a baby, let alone that Christmas was supposed to be a day that one received presents from Santa. 

 

Alice had never celebrated Christmas. She wasn’t sure if there was much to celebrate now, but she was determined to pretend, if not for her sake, than for Charlie’s. There was no need for her to dwell on the things that FP was doing for the sake of their family, even though the selfish part of her hated that he had chosen the Army as his way of providing for them, insisting that the offer of working at Fred’s family business was one of pity. 

 

At least pity would have kept him home, and not left her struggling to deal with their infant and trying to do her correspondence courses. She knew that this was selfish of her to think. It was good of FP to provide for their family. She was proud of him for that. 

 

That didn’t mean she wasn’t lonely. Charlie was great, and all, and she didn’t regret that she’d told FP that she was pregnant with him, or the fact that FP had procured a ring from the Kmart on the highway between Riverdale and Greendale, perhaps through dubious means, and asked her to marry him. It just sucked that he got to go off and play at being the hero while she sat in a trailer doing absolutely nothing.

 

“So, this is Christmas,” she said, her tone exhausted, as she walked into the room that had been dedicated as Charlie’s nursery, next to the room that she theoretically shared with FP. The baby had woken up from his nap, and was staring up at her, though thankfully not crying. “Want to come out to the living room, Charlie bug? See what Mama did to the place?” 

 

Charlie reached his arms out for her, and kicked his legs, and gurgled happily. She crossed the room to his crib and scooped him out of it.    
  


Alice pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you, Charlie.” 

 

Charlie made a happy noise in response. The baby was too young to talk. 

 

“I wish that we weren’t going to be alone on Christmas,” she admitted to him, as she sat on the couch, and cradled the baby in her arms. “But Daddy has to work, and that’s important.” Her voice cracked as a result, but she swallowed the tears that threatened to escape. “More important than being here and spending time with us.” 

 

Alice knew that that was an unfair comment to make. That the Army was logically the only place FP could escape the wonderful pedigree that being from the Southside afforded him, and that they were only separated while he was in Basic, and only because Charlie had been too small to travel when he had been given his orders. It didn’t mean that it hurt her any less. 

 

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me. Even if you don’t understand what I’m saying, I shouldn’t say those things to you.” 

 

She drew in a deep breath. “Are you hungry? You must be hungry. You’re FP’s son, after all.” 

 

She latched the baby onto her breast. Alice hated breastfeeding, but she trusted the formula at the poor excuse that they had for a grocery store even less, so she tolerated the baby needing to eat from her, rationalizing that she would venture onto the Northside to get him some formula when she got word of FP coming home, so that he wouldn’t have to catch a glimpse of her in the state she was in. It might have been natural, but she felt it was disgusting. She felt like a cow, and she knew that if he saw it he would never want to have sex with her ever again. 

 

They’d fucked while she was pregnant. Alice had hated how her body was changing, but FP had  either not minded or was capable of putting up a decent act, so she had gone along with it. But that was different. That wasn’t a baby that was sucking every drop of milk from her damn teat. 

 

She bit back a sigh, and allowed the music to mock her. “Wonderful Christmastime, my ass,” she muttered. “The only thing wonderful about it will be when it’s over.”   
  


She’d take a few pictures of Charlie opening his presents, and send them to FP, and she would call it a damn day. 

 

She scowled at the sound of a car approaching the trailer, and she silently vowed not to give whomever it was the time of day. If Fred thought he was going to convince her to go Christmas caroling with his family (and her small infant), or tag along with them to church (on the Northside, with her small child in tow) after her firm refusals, she was going to end him. She didn’t need pity invites from FP’s friends. Far better to stay alone in the trailer. Where it was safe.

 

Her silent rage did nothing to deter the person who was approaching the trailer.

 

“I thought I told you to fuck off,” she shouted in the direction of the door. “I told you, Fred, I don’t want to go live out it’s a damn wonderful life with you.” 

 

“Allie?”

 

Alice paused in the middle of what was meant to be a diatribe, and she pushed herself off the couch, nudged Charlie away from her breast, and headed in the direction of the door. She hadn’t heard FP’s voice in awhile, but it certainly sounded like him. If Fred was playing a trick on her, she was going to bludgeon him. 

 

“Allie, can you let me in? I forgot my key.”

 

She opened the door. “Jonesy?” FP stood on the front steps, his duffle bag slung over his shoulder, and she stepped out on the porch to join him, only to spot a truck parked in the driveway. “What are you doing here? Where did you get that?” 

 

“Bought it,” he said, and he shrugged his shoulders. “Figured it was worth it, to get a truck that we both could use, for the baby, and stuff.” He leaned in to give her a kiss. “So I drove it home from basic,” he said. “Got a couple weeks until we get to head to Fort Drum. Thought I’d surprise you. And the kid.” 

 

“I missed you,” she whispered. “You want to hold him?” 

 

Charlie was not happy that his mealtime had been interrupted, but she hoped that FP holding him would be enough of a distraction for him. 

 

“Yeah, Al, of course I want to hold him.” 

 

“Daddy wants to hold you,” Alice informed Charlie breezily, as she led FP into the trailer and divested him of his luggage, before she propelled him onto the couch and settled the baby in his arms. Charles stared up at FP, his gaze unblinking. “He’s missed you a lot.”

 

“He has?”

 

“Of course,” she said. “But not as much as I’ve missed you.” She sat down beside him. “Are you really real?” 

 

“Yeah, it’s really me,” he whispered. “He’s getting so big. I’ve missed so much.”

 

“I know,” she said. “You don’t have to miss anything anymore. We’re moving with you. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” 

 

“You’re my wife,” he said. “Why wouldn’t I want you and our boy living with me?” He shifted the baby in his arms. “You and Mommy are stuck with me, huh, buddy?” Charlie grinned in response. “Yeah, I like the sound of that, too. Come here, babe. I’ve missed you, too.” 

 

Alice inched closer to him, and she laid her head on his shoulder. “I thought you weren’t coming back for Christmas.” 

 

“I wanted to surprise you,” he said. “You’re really celebrating it, this year?” 

 

“Trying,” she whispered. “Got that tree and some presents. Mostly for him.”

 

“Nothing for you?” 

 

She shook her head. “No, you’re my present. I’m glad you’re back.”


End file.
